A
male
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*kintooth4
writes:This girl I am seeing likes to have sex a lot. We do it maybe every other day. I was a virgin when I met her but I've never liked the sex we've had. Is this normal. I feel I have a better orgasm when I masturbate than when we're doing it. We've tried many ways and I still don't like it, but she loves it, says I'm the best piece of ass she's ever had and I don't know what to do. Is it that I am not physically attracted, could it be that I am not mentally attracted??? I don't know why this is happening, I'm told by all my friends that I should like it but I'm just not...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): SirAppreciate what you have in hand. Have you tried oral sex or anal? that is something you cannot do by yourself. And do you have any secret fetish, like wanting to come on her feet, eyes, navel etc?Jerking off by yourself is fine, show her how you do it, but give her another chance. Obviously, you are either a faggot or a spoilsport. This should be a wake up call for you and your pemis.BTW, has she masturbated while you were watching her getting an orgasm.
A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (24 April 2007):
Sorry.. I typed that rather quickly and made several typos. I should proof read! Among these errors, I meant to say, "Since you were a virgin" not "since you are..."
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A
male
reader, Dr. Mark +, writes (24 April 2007):
I have a suspicion that many women tell me the guy they are with that he's the best she's ever had. Either they just want the guy to feel good about himself, or they genuinely feel that whoever they love at that moment is the best. They quickly forget how good the others were. It would be interesting to survey all the men and find out how many have been told that. It gave me a great ego until I started to realize that all men are told that! Mind you, I can't imagine a woman say, "Know what, you're good, but three lovers ago was really the best!"
Anyway, that's not what you were asking about. This is opposite to the steriotype, which is that men enjoy sex more, and it is a struggle to get women to want it as much as men do. This is just a steriotype though, and in my experience is only true about some women. Some have had more of a drive than even me, and I consider myself to have a rather high sex drive. So, is it normal for a woman to want it more? Who knows. There are alot of factors. So the real question is, "Why are you not enjoying it?" Since you are a virgin, you don't know what it's like with anyone else. So you don't know if it's the experience with her, or if it's just the way you feel about sex in general.
Masturbating can give you a different feeling. I remember as a virgin teen being surprised reading a sex manual that said that the actual thing can be a disapointment and some guys do find masturbation to be better. But the key word here is "better". I'm not sure about the not wanting it at all issue.
A couple of questions:
1. How old are you?
2. Do you fantasize about her when you are masturbating and enjoying it? Or are you thinking about someone else?
3. Do you have variety in sex? or is it just a quick in and out? Do you have lots of foreplay and do you enjoy that?
4. Is there any part of it that you enjoy? Obviously you are getting erect. Is it just the actual orgasm you don't like?
Your ansers to these questions might help me and others get a better idea to answer your question.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): I am betting there are a number of things you'd like her to do, which she either wouldn't want to do, or which you haven't told her about. I bet if she were doing all those things, you'd want it then.
I'd give her one chance to start doing what you want (after you tell her), and then break up with her selfish ass. You could find someone who wants to please you. So why sit there week after week struggling to keep some selfish "princess" satisfied, while you get nothing?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): fill her wish by arousing her
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006):
I think the possibilities are
1. not physically attracted to her
2. not mentally attracted to her
3. you two like different things sexually.
Since you have considered the first two and no bells went off I think it is more likly to be the third option. She might be like "bang me faster!" and you are piledriving away trying to fulfill your role as a 'hot piece of ass' when you'd rather take it slow and edge for an hour.
You'll need to some sober self-reflection to see how her lead maps to what your do when jacking off. Then get her drunk and have things play out your way.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 November 2006):
Bless! she has read in a magazine somewhere that giving your man sex anytime, any place, anywhere is sexy and cool. If you actually sat down and talked she would admit that she thought thats what you wanted from her. Tell her its a bit like eating a whole box of chocolates in one go so how about limiting it to maybe once a week. That way the anticipation would make the waiting much more enjoyable rather than "Oh! God, here we go again. I suppose Id better do the manly thing and please her." Butch up a bit and tell her you have a headache every so often.
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