A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi cupids,I need a little assistance regarding my gf and my money, she wants me out of debt, as do i, but im finding it hard, i think this latest monetary setback is another thing pushing her away. She tempts me with things like resteraunt meals, fast food, things i like. I am trying really hard within myself to stop my spending habbits...I get approx 100 to spend on myself after main bills and travelling expenses, but everytime i get to actually save that money, something goes wrong on my car. Last month it was brakes at 80, this week it was cambelt change and the variable valve timing camshaft was worn/knocking, so that needed to be changed, the cambelt cost me 21, but the variable valve cost me 200, and i payed a mate 90 to change the belt and the camshaft, i did spark plugs at 25 for four and oil for 5litres was 18, a new fuel filter was 30. All where neccessary to keep my car in good working order because it was guzzling petrol like nobodies business..now its all fixed the petrol consumption is a lot better. I do 50 miles a day at the very least.My gf dosent understand why i did it all at once, why i couldnt buy the parts one month, then apply them the next. i thought i was only going to spend 110 on sorting out the cambelt, it was unexpected that the variable camshaft was broken, as i bought the car like that, and my mate wouldnt lie to me, he has no reason to... I had to replace the part while the cambelt was off or suffer poor fuel consumption for another half a year or when i stump up the money for another cambelt change.How can i make her understand that it was essential to put it onto my credit card? Shes miffed that i now have 400 to put on my credit card instead of the 200 i had left to pay off. I understand that she might not know that much about cars, but still she should trust me when i say it was needed, if only she drove as much as i did with her own car instead of the 5 miles she drives each day then things would be different. I resent having to drive her round for free when she moans at me for not having money to do things, and its been spent on the car. I dont always have full track of where my money goes, 5 here for sweets for her or an extra 10 there to take her shopping at lakeside, its absurd.She says im financially unstable, she says that ill never be able to afford to move out either. How can i keep her happy and entertained, drive her across the country, maintain my car without spending money and saving! Argh i cannot feel more trapped when it comes to my finances! To make matters worse shes not a good role model for saving, she seems to spend money on play.com, or at lakeside on frivilous things like shoes and shirts or dvds and cds then puts me down for not being able to do the same, i love her but shes putting too much pressure on me to pay my 500 debt off and be in the black while being stuck in a low pay high outgoings situation! I did the smart thing and went to my friend to save on mechanic fees, i bought the parts i needed for myself on recommendations from the volvoforums, and used my initiative and also my card, unfortunatly to keep the car working properly, a bonus to the expensive part was getting a toolkit that was free, contained all the tools i would need to fix my car myself if it ever broke down.Its depressing she wont see things my way, money wise its her way or not at all i understand she wants a future with me, but its hard to do if she keeps being selfish like this, i feel unsupported in my endeavours to do whats right by her.
View related questions:
debt, money, puts me down, spark, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blue_eyes1981 +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Does she ever split the cost of anything with you? For instance eating out etc? If she doesn't maybe it's about time to put the idea to her just once a month maybe she could split the bill with you or maybe she could treat you to a meal or something.
I know that doesn't solve the whole problem but right now it seems that she spends money on herself and expects your money to be spent on her too. Basically she sounds spoiled.
|
