A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am really unsure what to make with my girlfriend.We've been together 5 months, throughout May we did not kiss or do anything sexual as she'd commented she felt guilty, plus I had things on my mind so I deliberately didn't do anything.From June onwards, we have been quite active, not full sex, but anything else imaginable else.So lately she asked about some cherry condoms I bought in June but we never used, then she asked what my fantasy is and i said to use them, so we hooked up over the weekend, I didn't want it to be so open I wanted to use it, we never did, but she asked me later why I never brought them.So she said to me on Saturday I should become more dirty in my talk to her, I am very reserved naturally, i think it will be disrespectful to come out and say lets use this or i want oral from you.We both go to church, she says she feels guilty again, but at the same time says that i must be dirty in my talk to her.What should I do?I want to tell her maybe stop the sexual but only kiss, but I'm scared I want more than that, I do like her a lot, and had we not gone down this path, I would've been content to not start it. I don't want her to feel guilty either, so tough.What should I do or say to her? Thanks.
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female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 stop. I have been here. This story does not end well. You will have to go through the painful process of breaking up if you want to stop getting physical, but trust me, you will never be okay in the future looking back at a past doing things you felt guilty doing.
You clearly both believe in premarital abstinence so fight for tgat, or give up the belief, but you can't have both, it is soul destroying...
Trust me, this kind of thing never leaves you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 I think you just need to both communicate about this. If she is not comfortable being sexual with you then tell her she does not need to, but yes you are right you have both went down that path now so it will be hard to go back on it, as you both do have sexual needs. So just be open and honest with each other about how you feel.
As for the dirty talk, this turns a lot of people on, am guessing this is why she wants you to do it, and she also probably just wants you to open up to her and tell her what you want, so just be honest with her and tell her how you feel. If you are uncomfortable talking dirty to her then explain this to her. Maybe give it a try and see, who knows you may enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (30 July 2012):
Seriously, chill out. Go with the flow, experiment a little and enjoy yourself.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (30 July 2012):
 There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex with each other and experimenting, lighten up a bit, as your girlfriend she will want to feel wanted and desired by you, so let yourself enjoy it a bit more
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