A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, Me and my ex have both just graduated from university, we have been together for about 2 1/2 months, although we have known each other since the beginning but i was to shy to make a move until now. Now uni has finished she is going back home for the summer (greece) and then coming back to continue to do a masters at the same university. I on the other hand am looking for a full time job in my degree field. All was going well until the day before she was due to fly home she told me she wanted to break up, this came as a massive shock as we had only been on the phone the previous day saying we miss each other and we love each other. She says she needs space and is'nt ready for the commitment. The time apart over the summer is 2 months, which i know is almost as long as we have been together. She says she still loves me and this might not have happened if the summer had'nt arrived. I dont understand how she can suddenly turn around and be so cold and blunt about us, i can't turn off my feelings like a switch! I miss her so so much and am left at home with all these little things that remind me of her. I really want to speak to her and ask what changed . So i guess i'm asking for any advice or thoughts. thanks all.........from a heartbroken guy missing his girl
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): So should i contact her in say a week or so, or wait to see if she makes a move??? I'm finding it hard not to pick up the phone right now,its only been a day !!
I went to the airport with her after we broke up (this is still the same day bear in mind) even then we kissed jus before she went through the gate, not full on, jus a 'smooch' or prolonged kiss on the lips however you want to call it. The last text she sent went along the lines of 'it really hurts but i need space, and its not worth waiting for me' , she does have low self esteem sometimes and she questioned me before about what i see in her. This confuses me more as i think maybe she just cant handle a long distance relationship - but there might be hope later still?
The only positive thing i can get from this is i know i would be able to see her again when she returns to continue her studies, although at this point in time i am unsure of how close i will be located job wise.
she is a very spontaneous person and is quick to change her mind, which makes this worse still. Dam i miss her X
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 You should understand it was a fling.
There are girls who tell you stories.
For instance, like this: "She says she still loves me and this might not have happened if the summer had'nt arrived".
"I really want to speak to her and ask what changed" - wait until she hooks someone else, then ask her as a friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Ouch.
It does appear to be very cold and insensitive.
Regardless of the reasons why, which you want for some semblance of closure, she made a decision.
She could just be a woman who is linear in thinking and just sees it as being practial. This way she or you don't have to hurt or worry about missing the other or being insecure. It's like a she decided that it's best for you both. Unfortunately that is how it works, it takes two to say let's make this work and one to say good bye.
Like in nature, a wound needs time to heal.
Hugs to you Guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Well, I think you can try and contact her later, maybe send her a card, nothing too heavy, just to let her know you are thinking about her, and you could try to arrange a meeting over the summer if that is possible, but 2 1/2 months of dating is not very long, and she may think that your relationship will not survive over the summer, she most likely wants to be free to date others so that she has an enjoyable summer guilt free about cheating on you,,so my dear she may have done the honorable thing...my suggestion is to get out there yourself, broaden your horizons and meet another girl or two, don't take it out on the new girls for having your heart broken, give new love a chance and it will come, I promise.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 June 2007):
 It's probably not a case of turning her feelings off, she probably just realises hard hard it will be for you to continue your relationship while you are apart so she is trying to save you both from heartache.
After the summer is over if you both still feel the same and neither of you have met anyone else which is always possible then maybe you can pick up your relationship again.
Take care.xx.
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