A
male
age
36-40,
*san86
writes:Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for her to see that abortion is not the right way to go?
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female
reader, cheers  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Oh,so sorry.Pls be strong.
Hope this hard life experiences really make yourself more mature person & patient. You learn how to deal problem effectively, improve communication skills and understand human characters also.
Give yourself time. Good luck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear that things turned out this way.
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A
male
reader, Jsan86 +, writes (5 September 2011):
Jsan86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I couldn't stop her and she went and had the abortion.
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A
female
reader, cheers +, writes (31 August 2011):
Really want to do anything?
1.Pls propose to her and married her asap.
2.ask her to give you one more chance.
3.Simply say sorry making her stress out these days.I'm wrong to do that to you. pls forgive me.
4.Tell her that you love her so much. With the baby, it's really a BONUS Blessing. Don't you want a cute baby? I want baby as pretty as you are. Don't you know how the baby means alot to my life? How i'm heartbroken when you want to abort it. Give me one more chance to prove i can be the Good father &you'll be a good Mother too. Don't you agree?
5. promise a firm security to take care her
I know all these actions that put you on spot.Bear with it,as you want the Baby otherwise it's too late.
I feel that you've to GAIN BACK HER TRUST. You have to GIVE IN.Pls Work on it now!
All the best. keep me updated
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A
male
reader, Jsan86 +, writes (31 August 2011):
Jsan86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a great job and my own place I just don't know what else to do... I feel like I'm just going to be sitting down while someone is going to kill my child!!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (31 August 2011):
You can only show her through actions. But even then, if she is dead set to go ahead there is not much you can do other than talk to her and ask for her to at least give you a few days to show her how you prepare and can take care of a child.
Has she given you any reasons for why she wants an abortion? If you know her reasons it would be easier to know what to do.
You didn't answer my question though, do you only think you are ready, or are you in fact ready? Do you have a job with a decent income, do you have a house/apartment with enough room for all of you? Do you have a car if a car is needed in your area, to drive you around? If not, get all of these things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): She doesn't want to go through the pregnacy. You can talk to her about her other options, and make sure she has a good long think about the abortion before rushing into it, but if she wants to terminate the pregnacy, that is her choice. She doesn't want to have the child, the pregnacy was clearly an accident, she is not ready to be a parent, nor does it sound like she is emotionaly able to go through the pregnancy and then give up the baby. its her choice, not yours, and it is not up to you to decide that 'abortion is not the right way to go'. She needs support, not you forcing your own views on the issue.
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A
male
reader, Jsan86 +, writes (30 August 2011):
Jsan86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would not take her to court just because I know I would not win. As for being serious with her I have already tried talking to her about making it official between us but she is so hard headed!!! How do I get her to understand I am ready and willing to give up my life for her and the child!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I pretty much agree with the other posters but as a lawyer I would not suggest taking this to court. It's been tried in the past and will be very costly with virtually 0% chance of success..
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (30 August 2011):
their isnt much you can do here. You can try to find someone close to you and her to reason with her. Try to offer her away out by letting her know she can give up parential rights once the child is born.If all that fails then seek a court action to try to stop it but it slim to none.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 August 2011):
Have you offered another option? If you offer a good second option then you might make her reconsider. Often people choose abortion because they see no other real choice.
Have you got a place where you can live? Have you said you want to live with her? Do you earn enough money to provide for a child, and in case you don't have a job are you actively looking for one? Are you fit to be a father, and if you aren't then what measures have you taken to show her that you can be a father?
Have you taken your relationship with her seriously, have you talked about how this abortion/child affects you as a couple? Have you said you want to be official with her now, instead of calling her "a girl you've been seeing"? Have you asked her to properly be your girlfriend?
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