A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:guys pls help me out..i hav a g/f and we are in a serious relationship from 7 yrs...but recently some incident took place by which she told me everything about her past...i thought that she would not talk or meet with other guys but i was completely wrong..she talked and met many guys...she says that she had no other intention than friendship...all of them were just friends..few of them proposed her but she said she rejected them and stopped talking with the guys who proposed her...and now she stopped evrything..talking,chatting and all...i love her very much and she loves me too...how can i know that shes telling me the truth..she knows that i dont like her talkin with other guys...i wanna forget her past...i am very possessive about her...i just wanna forget everything about her past but those thoughts are killing me...can u pls help me out???
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Do you plan to keep her in a box under your bed? How is she supposed to have a full life if she is not allowed (by you) to speak to other men?
You CANNOT possess another person.
IF you are 25 and have been with her 7 years and she is your age that means that since she was 18 you have been together…. What in the world do you expect her to do, sit around and wait for you and be at your beck and call?
What will you do when she talks to other men now?
Soon you will not want her talking to her own brothers…
You need to seriously work on your self esteem as jealousy is based on insecurity and insecurity stems from lack of self-esteem.. you clearly feel inferior to the rest of the men in the world.. why is this?
Can you see a therapist to work on this.. this level of jealousy and possessiveness is beyond normal or natural it’s pathological and you require some professional internvention.
A
male
reader, Htsn47 +, writes (27 April 2012):
 I don't completely understand your question. You are this upset because she *spoke* to someone of the opposite sex? I'm puzzled - how is she supposed to go through life without encountering any men other than you?
I'll be honest, it doesn't really sound like you are ready for a relationship if you have such wild jealousy issues.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (26 April 2012):
 you need to be less controlling, and jealous of her talking to other guys. she did not give herself ( sexually ) to them right, she just has talked with them.
her heart belongs to you my friend , and if you keep up the controlling of her you just may drive her off. you need to put some trust in her.
a relationship is built on trust, without it your relationship will fall apart. you need to trust her, unless she would be cheating on you. talking to other guys is not cheating.
you need to give her some breathing room or she may fell smothered by you. you don't want to lose her, so don't drive her away. i take it she has given you no reason to doubt her love for you. you need to show her she has no reason to doubt your love for her by trusting her.
i hope this helps.
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