A
female
age
30-35,
*indaloo
writes:I went on a first date with a guy last night. I had already slept with him after a very drunken night out. We spoke about this and said we will start a fresh. However, he works in the army so he goes away for weeks at a time. So he goes away on Friday for 3 weeks. I do really like him. But we left it as when he comes back we will go on another date and see what happens. He paid for dinner last night so I feel like I need to text him today - any suggestions? I really like him and I've told him this so I'm hoping it will work. Any advice appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): Don't text him. Call him, and thank him for a lovely evening and some crazy fun. Then tell him, next time you'd like to try things a little slower; and get to know each other. Don't start hiding behind a device; and make a connection person to person.
You're both pretty young, and sex will often get ahead of everything else. You don't make much of a good impression when you start out "drunk." Then you have no inhibitions. You'll say and do things out of character; then have a lot of grief and embarrassment in hindsight.
Don't show any signs of remorse, or be overly apologetic.
You were both drunk! It's not all on you. However; sex on the first date with a guy in the military can pretty much leave you hanging. I was in the military; and saw a lot of ladies' hearts get broken. Especially young ladies who didn't set a few rules and demand respect. Then the guys left on tours of duty, without even looking back.
What's done is done, and it is what it is. If he's a player, don't expect much. If he seemed like he really enjoyed your company before the alcohol and sex; perhaps things will go differently on the next meeting. If you both mutually agree to leave sex out of your next date; you'll be able to be yourself, and he can judge you by your real personality. You can better evaluate if he just wants sex; or if he genuinely has an attraction for you. He's seen your party-side first. That isn't really a bad thing.
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