A
male
age
51-59,
*altickid
writes:i have recently split up with my wife and was just wanting to sound off about it. been with her for 16 years and married for 11 years, we have 3 kids the oldest at 10. i have given her everything shes wanted during our relationship, then she drops the bombshell shes not (in)love with me anymore. she bought a house round the corner and was living at her mams whilst it came through, kids stayed with me. she promised there was no one else. this went on for 3 weeks then when she was visiting kids i checked her messages on her phone to find a younger man (6 years) and ex work mate saying he loves her and replys from her staying she loves him. shes now admited she has feeling for him but thats all thats happened and they are going to see how it goes. ive know paid her off from the house thousands its cost me and i dont know what to do next my whole life has been turned upside down, i still have some feelings for her but i have realy bad ones to her toyboy as hes crossed the line by showing her the attention at work 18 months ago.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maryann61181  +, writes (28 April 2007):
 The two of you were quite young when you met. Maybe she felt as though she missed out on the dating life and this is her way of testing the waters per se. I know how badly this hurts. I too have had this happen and I've come to realize that it is them who are confused. We may think that everything is fine and it probably was to a point. She may be bored and needed something to make her feel young again. If you still want to be with her after all this and feel as though you can forgive and forget what she has done, if she chooses to come back to you, try going to see a therapist together. Don't try too hard to get her back into your life, but do show her that you love her despite this new man.
Try not to get too upset with the other man. Remember that this is not entirely his fault. You don't know what she has told him and vice versa. Talk to your friends about what is going on and try to focus on your children. They are suffering just as well. Make sure they know how much you love them and don't speak negatively about their mother to them, this has damaging effects.
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