A
male
age
41-50,
*ave5878
writes:i went out for town for the weekend and when i came back my wife said we needed do talk about our relationship. she said she loved me but was not in love with me and had no attraction to me any more. i was shocked and did not see this coming, but it all seemed to sudden and weird so i asked if there was someone else she said no, but i kept at it and sure enough she said she met a guy at a work party on the weekend and that they had been talking on the phone. I asked her if they had done ANYTHING she said just talked at the party then he went to the bar and she came home. a sked who this guy was and she said just a hot guy from her work who she had a cruch on for awhile, but she said he ment nothing and she was sorry and wanted to make us work, and that maybe we should go and see a counsler, i was angry and hurt but agreed. the next day she said she sent this guy a text that it was over, so when she left the room i checked her phone to see if she did send the text. i found that she did sent the text but that the night of the party she sent him a text asking him to come over at 3:30 in the morning (to our house)when he was done at the bar. so i showed her the message and asked wtf it was, she broke down and said that he came over, but he didnt come in the house and that they just sat outside and talked, i called bullshit and she finally said that they madeout for awhile but that was it. what i need help with is if i do deside do give her another chance how can i get over her cheating if i dont believe her that they only madeout when everything is making me think the worst.
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female
reader, Coloradogrl  +, writes (10 September 2008):
Wow. She has been so dishonest with you. Not only was she wrong to do it, but why did she tell you she wanted to talk and then make you drag the information out of her? I would really wonder whqt else there iss in your relationship that you HAVENT been able to get out!
If you really feel like you want to make this work, I would DEF go to a counselor- both individually and as a couple. And the two of you need to have some good long talks about what you want out of the marriage. You obviously want honesty, but what is she wanting that she wants to look elsewhere? Why isnt she "in love" anymore?
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