A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i met a girl on some online dating,so we text for like 3months ,she told me she has a bf, but he does not take her seriously so when she tell me this i thought she gave me ammo,so we agreed to meet one day cause she stays almost 1hr away from my town then we met last week ,so we chill for like 3hrs ,so we talkd about many things ,we ended up talking about us which she again reminded me that she has a bf and that she is confused with me, so i asked her if she can visit me one day of wich she said she don't have a problm at all,so that day i when i went home,i called her let her know am at home and we text for 30mins after that day, the follown day i asked her for the last time if she can't date me i wanted to be clear about what she said and if she realy mean it of which again she gave me exactly same answer that she has a bf, so then i stopped txtn her callin her ,after 3days she calls me every night ,so am confused cause i already gave up and i don't understand why she suddenly calls me everyday cause even before she does not call me like this,am confused help
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for taking your time and answer my question ,i will do exactly what you all have said ,thnx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): She's a lonely girl who is looking for attention and she needs to feel desirable. Her boyfriend is falling down on the job at making her feel needed, and she is just looking for a guy who listens. Maybe she is a serial-cheater who picks up guys on the internet. Either is potentially bad news.
I'm gay. I have a several female-friends, neighbors, and acquaintances who sometimes invite me over (or themselves over), just to talk. Sometimes we go out, or just meet over lunch or dinner. I'm like a stand-in boyfriend. When they need to be around a guy, they need a guy. They find a different sort of comfort in a man. She may even be trying to make her boyfriend jealous.
Don't attach your feelings. She found what she may think is a sensitive-guy, and guys like that aren't that easy to find. You listen. That's rare these days; because a lot of guys stop listening 15-30 minutes into a conversation. You apparently beat that record. You've shown immediate interest; which is a boost to her ego, and raised her self-esteem. That's enough.
My advice is to let this young woman return to her boyfriend to satisfy her attention-deficit. It's still cheating. She isn't likely to meet up with you. She will find an excuse to bail-out, or stand you up. She may just like the feeling of a random guy interested in her.
Be careful, you never know when a jealous boyfriend might read her messages, and meet-up with you instead. Maybe follow her, and then you've got trouble on your hands.
Kindly excuse yourself and go no contact. If she is planning on taking it to another level, don't you think it's best she doesn't have a boyfriend first? Are you ready to deal with a guy who just might put your lights out?
Or worse!!!
Think with your head, not your dick!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (5 October 2014):
 Whoah! I didn't even notice that bit about the dating site.
Definitely steer clear. She is not even friend material.
She's not confused. She knows what she wants and she's going after it.
Apart from not being able to trust her, or pursue anything meaningful with her, you're going to spend much of your time together listening to her moan about how bad her relationship is and how powerless she is to leave it.
Run...in the opposite direction.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 October 2014):
Steer clear.
Your lady friend isn't happy with her boyfriend but won't break up with him because she doesn't want to be the bad guy and hurt his feelings, doesn't want to deal with the fallout, and doesn't want to risk making a mistake.
She's giving you enough hope to keep you around while keeping you somewhat at bay so she can't be accused of cheating. She's been honest about having a boyfriend so you can't accuse her of stringing you along.
The best of both worlds for her, and a whole lot of confusion and frustration for you.
Tell her to sort things out with her boyfriend or break up with him. If you're still interested by the time she does that, you'll consider seeing her. Otherwise, cut ties with her.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (5 October 2014):
This is some-one to avoid. She may well be very unhappy and neglected in her relationship but joining a dating site and meeting other men is out of order and not the way to deal with it. Either she should leave her boyfriend or stay and try to make it work. She’s seeking an escape from this dysfunctional relationship in you, and presumably you’re supposed to just go along with it and accept it. That level of contact is too much, I don’t know many friends who call every night.
I’m afraid that what she’s doing is wrong and she’s dragging you in to it as well. Be the bigger person, don’t answer the calls and block the number. You’ve not got close to this girl yet so quit your contact now before you start getting involved in her drama. Look for some-one who isn’t in a relationship and is emotionally available. Given that you met on a dating site, it was unwise of you to have agreed to meet when you knew she had a boyfriend, learn from this mistake.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): Im sorry to say this, but it doesn't look like this relationship can go anywhere. She has a boyfriend.
Has she told her boyfriend that she was meeting up with you.....a man she met on a dating site? I doubt it! That's deceitful. How could you be sure she wasn't seeing other men behind your back if you began a relationship with her? She could simply say that you don't take her seriously. Afterall, it is what she told you about her current boyfriend.
My advice would be give up on this young lady now before you end up in a messy situation.
You deserve someone who is free to be with you.
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