A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this woman for 6 months or so, what I had intended to be a friendship turned into something more. I started talking to her online and for a while it was fun. After 3 months go by I realized that I was falling in love, after that I found out it was mutual. I've been single for 3 years now(I'm 20) So it was a BIG step to go after a woman that lived 2000+ miles away. I'm in Cali and she is in Kentucky, but I flew over to see if there was something there. So now I'm at her house(she still lives with her parents) She has NEVER been kissed or even had a relationship before me. She has been glued to the computer and said I was smothering her by sitting next to her. When I try to talk to her she will literally get up with the laptop and walk away after a couple minutes. She avoids all physical contact, won't even let her family touch her. I tried to give her space and then she seems to give me the attention I have been asking for, seems simple right?I tried to ask her what she wanted, she just told me she didn't know. So a week goes by and we saw a couple movies. Nothing changes. I finally confront her and she tells me I'm like a brother and that I remind her too much of her little brother. I'm afraid I pushed too hard by just following her around like a lovesick puppy. So naturally I'm kind of heartbroken because I can't stop staring at this beautiful woman. Over the last week we did have some good moments with us laughing and smiling and it seemed like all was good. But after she told me I was like a brother all I seem to do is irritate her. I'm at a loss as to where to move from here. I am completely in love with her....we both want the same thing. I want to just go in the other room and hug her but I can't. Yesterday she had a surprise bday cake for me(its the 5th) and I hugged her and she acted like I was killing her....Can I salvage this? Maybe she is just nervous? This is killing me because I fell in love with her. I've got 3 weeks to decide if I try to make this work or I drop her like a bad habit. I can try to make this a vacation I guess. Her family loves me so I figured I would be in but I guess not. 3 weeks of irritating her won't be fun....
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): I find the whole thing very strange to be honest, i think maybe she should go to her doctor and seek some advice, spending all her time online is not healthy and its also knocking your confidence. I think you need to ask her straight up if she shes a relationship with you, at least that way you will have closure to the problem. Talk to her family and ask them if she has always been like this, best of luck :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 It seems that she has underlying issues here. She doesn't like to be touched physically and there must be a reason behind this. Maybe something happened her when she was a child and she can't show her emotions any more. She is cut of from the real world. She sits at her laptop all day and doesn't like you so much as sitting beside her or talking to her. It sounds like she is severely disturbed.
You say that her parents adore you. Well maybe you could try talking to them and ask them if they know anything about it. You don't want to out stay your welcome I guess so talk to the girl and ask her does she want you to remain there. Tell her you really like her but you don't want to stay around if you are irritating her and ask her does she want you to go.
I really don't think this is about you, it is more to do with her issues and feelings. I doubt she would let any guy become close to her and am afraid these are issues that she needs to deal with herself.
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