A
male
age
36-40,
*ey
writes:I just started having sex with a girlfriend, I was a virgin before I met her. She has had a lot more experience than me with older guys. She recently told me that "I don't know what I'm doing" during sex. This is a huge blow to me since I thought I was doing good. She says Im not the worst shes ever had, nor the best. I guess that puts me somewhere lame and forgettable in the middle? I don't know, does anyone have any suggestions on how I can do better? Or will I just get better over time with more practice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): Does she know what SHE is doing? I think it is harsh and insensitive to criticise you and shows immaturity. It is important to share what you like and don't like - which can feel strange to begin with. My ex-husband said some derrogatory remarks during and after sex and they ate away at my self esteem and I found it difficult to recover until I later found a man who loved me just as I was and encouraged me to indulge in my instincts during sex. Do not let your self esteem take a battering. If she cannot find it in herself to be positive about the experience and be encouraging (it is not a competition in which you are being judged)please move on and find someone who is prepared to be an equal.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (5 June 2007):
 Stop having sex with her for a little bit. Generally, you should go out of your way to satisfy your partner. In this particular case, what I recommend, is stopping for a while. She'll want you more, and then you look at her and say: "I thought that I was just average?". She'll want you more, and be willing to teach you. If she's not willing to teach you some things, forget her and move on.
DV1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): yeah its not the best to begin with. you just have to find out how to make her tick with practice and talking about it. but i would reconsider putting that much effort in with a girl who would be so indifferent to your feelings. she should have been encouraging you, not knocking you down
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A
female
reader, minaah +, writes (5 June 2007):
Let me tell you, son, it is always sh*t at first. Practice makes perfect, man.
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