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male
,
anonymous
writes: I was trying to talk this girl at school, but in a week of me trying to talk to her, it turned into her thinking I was following her too much. I wrote her a note saying I was sorry and she said that it was okay, but to just not follow her. What should I do to be able to talk to her because I really like her. Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (21 September 2005):
 There's a happy medium in situations like this. You see, us girls, we're very picky when it comes to how much attention we want from a guy. Too little, we think you're not interested and too much and we get scared off.
Give it a little while, a few weeks maybe then start the communication up again. Just a smile here and there as you pass her maybe, a quick 'hello', nothing too much, let her do some of the work. She'll soon start to love the attention and be wanting you to talk to her! Good luck :)
A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (21 September 2005):
 Keep clear. You have scared her so just keep your distance and move on!
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A
male
reader, littleasianfriend +, writes (21 September 2005):
hi you should try and make eye contact when you see her. if she doesnt look in your direction, cough, sneeze, or fall down maybe to get her attention. if you do that enough then she will probably start to look in your direction when you walk by. when and if this happens then you shouldlook at her directly in the eyes. if she smiles then you smile then look away. if you frequently do that then they will start to think your a nice guy and she will watch what you do things and if youre nice shell think of you more and eventually she will talk to you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Ignor her. Send her another note that tells her that you would enjoy her company, but under the circumstances, if she would like to talk to you, she will have to contact you. Then leave it alone. Obsessive men are frightening to women, and young girls haven't a clue how to tell the difference between a stalker, and someone who is a little shy about approaching them. By ignoring her, she will wonder what happened,and probably have a friend approach you to ask why you suddently stopped showing interest in her. Tell the friend that you don't appreciate being accused of stalking anyone, since that is a crime. She is either going to have to be a lot less coy about accepting boys who approach her, or learn the difference between inartful romance, and true stalking. By ignoring her, you will also help build a case, should the authorities every hear of this allegation, that in fact you had nothing in the way of stalking in your mind when you tried to approach her. Once accused, its like breaking wind in an elevator: the first person accused is guilty! No matter how much you deny it, no one on that elevator is going to think that maybe the first person to accuse you was actually the one who did it.
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