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*uylostinlove
writes: I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl ...I've known her for about 3 years. Our actual relationship didn't start till about a year ago.But, I think I have some trust issues with her because of an incident that came up. One time, I logged into her e-mail account and saw she was having a 'online' relationship with someone from a game she plays (I know invading her privacy is wrong but ... it's been said and done ...). It's a game for teenagers and she said she pretended to be someone else ... Which was corroborated by that guy because I actually spoke to the guy online (let's just say I'm the type that wants to know things).But, since that time, it seems like I've always been 'wondering' what she's up to all the time. I don't get to speak to her much during the day time .. and I work in front of the pc .. so, quite often, i'll refresh her myspace page to see if she's online on that. because i know she checks it every day ... at times, i've felt that she checks it as soon as she wakes up ... and i feel that i usually don't even hear from her in the mornings.so, without going into too much details ... seems like there is definitely a trust issue on my side with her ... just because i'm also not around her all the time ... my questions is, should i come out and tell her about this? she's mentioned before to me that ... she thinks i still probably don't trust her. i've really tried to brush aside the those thoughts but to be honest, it hasn't been very successful. that's why sometimes i still get those lingering thoughts about she what she might be up to. i also think that if i come out and confront her about it, it might be over between us because i can't trust her .. that would be her thoughts on it. i just know i really like her alot .. that's why i've been trying to push changes in my thought process on my side so i won't have those trust issues ...
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male
reader, Prada +, writes (28 November 2006):
Well one of the biggest things with long distant relationships is always the trust thing.But the thing is is if you want to be with this person you justy have to get over it because that is all you will think about and trusty me your mind will find away to make something bad out of nothing,i know this because i am in one myself and i just got over the whole not trusting her thing.If you really like her than you should just hang in there and take the risk.But i think it would be a good idea if you expressed how you felt.Buy you should most likly stay out of her stuff.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): You have a big issue with trust here. Firstly, why don't you two talk. Get things out in the open. If she finishes with you because of that then she has something to hide and your relationship isn't going anywhere. You sometimes have to put things to one side in your brain. I know it isn't easy, I've been there before, my head has been in a whirl just wondering what the other half was up to. The internet has a lot to answer for!
I don't think you can go on like this and that is why you have asked for help.
Realistically, can you go on like this for the rest of your life, no, i don't think so. Have that chat and get your head cleared. You will feel better and be prepared for the consequences not afraid of them. Be brave - it's your life too.
Take care
xx
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