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*IFF1968
writes: I found out my lady met a man she chatted to on the net. She says nothing went on, but she texts & talks to him on the phone a lot. Although I love her dearly I don't want to be taken for a fool. What should I do? I am in turmoil.
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (21 April 2005):
 Well if this all went on behind your back, then you are going to have a hard time trusting her. If she was upfront about it in the begining and told you what she was up to then you wouldnt be doubting her. You need to tell her how you feel about her going behind your back and how would she like it if you did it to her ? tell her that shes paying more attention to some guy from the net than she is to you and that you want that to change. Why does she feel the need to chat to this guy ? What do they chat about ? Ask her things like that, but not in an accusing way, try to find out if there is a reason she meet up and keeps it going. It could be that she thrives on something new, and for the moment hes interesting and different. Perhaps ask if you could be introduced, if hes that much of a friend to her then maybe you should all meet up. That is of course if he knows you exist... let your girlfriend know that whilst she says nothing went on, you feel left out, and feel uncomfortable that she has done this behind your back. She could just be being a friend, but unless she is honest with you about it, its going to eat you up. If she cares enough about you she will understand, let her know that you want to trust her, but you are finding it hard as she didnt tell you in the begining what she was doing, and it feels like shes is hiding something. Just talk to her and explain your anguish, it could all be innocent, but the doubt is never a good thing. Tell her you love her and want to make a go of things, but cant unless you know what this other guy means to her. Just be open and honest, and tell her exactly how you feel. If she doesnt understand, and wont talk about it.. then I guess it would be time to move on as it would be clear that the internet guy is more than likely more than a friend, but do give the benifit of the doubt first.
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