A
male
age
30-35,
*obmcbobbins
writes:Hi me and my girlfreind have been going out for 4 months now and I really do love her. However when we sleep together or talk on the phone she tells her mum eveything. She even tells her what we do and i cant look at her mum the same way now. Can anyone help me get round this, I don't think the relationship can continue if she carries on telling her everything. Should I be thinking like that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 it sounds to me, from your last post, that her mom was just concerned about what you guys have done physically, and I feel that your girl should be able to be honest with her mom about that; if her mom is comfortable enough to ask it and receive the truth to the question, then she should be comfortable enough around you--and vice versa should apply as well!
A
male
reader, bobmcbobbins +, writes (21 June 2007):
bobmcbobbins is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just to fill you in on whats happened so far..
well i spoke to her tonight and i gently dropped the subject in and she said sometimes her mum asks what happens. I now feel that this is worse however she told me she didnt tell her mum everything. i understand that having a close relationship with your mum is ok but is this taking it a bit too far?
I now feel no better off and still confused on what to do. i love her but not her mum.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 I am torn about this.
On the one hand, what happens between a couple should STAY between the couple. Does this mean that if you share a secret with her, that her mom will know too? I think this is creepy.
On the other hand...you are both 13-14? Maybe she is not mature enough to be in a sexual relationship with a guy if she feels the need to tell mom everything. If you have to question how you feel about her talking to her mom about your sexual life, maybe you are not mature enough to have this relationship either.
If she does not learn to keep her mouth shut, break it off and SOON, before she further damages your public rep.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Sit down with your girlfriend and explain to her that her telling her mum everything you two do makes you a little uncomfortable. I don't see any harm in her being close to her mum but there maybe should be a limit to what she shares.
I'm currently pregnant and when my child gets to the point of having sex I would love to have a bond with them that means they will come and chat to me about it, but I don't think I would want to hear the ins and the outs of it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Crayons +, writes (21 June 2007):
Well, if you're doing this stuff responsibly. If you're going to sleep with her and be ashamed of it, well, then maybe you've never been ready for it. You have to be sure of yourself and what you do with this girl, of course,
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Hi Bob,
I totally agree with retachi on this one. While having a close relationship with one's mom is great, what happens between the a couple sexually should stay between the both of them if one person is uncomfortable with the other dishing out the details. To me, it's a matter of respect. If she feels the need to talk to someone about it, then why can't she talk to you? I would even think it'd be better if she talked with a friend about it, honestly. But she shouldn't even be doing that if it bothers you. (I never had the urge to tell people about my sex life; never understood the point.)
Let me ask you, is she telling her mother so that she can get an appoitment to get birth control? If so, then that's understandable. But if she's doing more to gossip or show off or something, then she should take your feelings into consideration and stop. If she doesn't, what else is she going to be this insensitive about. (This is my own take on it, anyway.)
Take care.
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A
female
reader, reatachi +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Okay, I'm going to attempt to answer this one. I think it's great that she gets along with her mom, it's something I've never been able to do, but I do think it's a little annoying that she tells her mother everything about what you two do. A relationship is about trust, and part of that trust is keeping what is personal between the two of you. I would talk to her, tell her how you feel about it, and how nervous it makes you when you're around her mother. Tell her that you don't think it's fair to you, and see what she says. And if she can't agree to keep private matters private, try to fnd a girl that isn't so...open....about her romantic life?
[sorry, I'm, new at this]
best of luck 3
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Hia babii, shes in a very close relationship wiv her mum wich is good.. im the same with my gran (which is stil gud) i can completely understand what you mean and why you are thinking, but imagin if she didnt talk to her mum, she would be upset etc.. you need to learn to deal with it and maybe have a quiet word wiv her, to let her know ur feelings.. mail me if u wana talk x x x
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