A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I've not been on one of these forums before, so apologies in advance if I'm not clearI have a bit of a confusing situation with my current long term girlfriend. I have recently overheard my girlfriend telling one of her friends that she had fallen for one of her male friends and was now heartbroken that their relationship had fallen apart. There's a bit of a backstory here, but the short version is that they were friends and had a falling out over something and she was very upset about it...a bit too upset in my mind. I asked her directly if there had been something going on, to which she promptly got angry and said nothing had gone on and he had never even touched her. I am a fairly trusting sort and so chose to ignore my worries, but this recent revelation has brought it up for me again and I am unsure what to do about it. I don't know if she is just talking rubbish or if it is something more serious...I am concerned about what it means if she had actually developed feelings for someone else while we are together. She has not spoken to her "ex" friend for 3 months, yet is still talking about heartbreak...If anyone has any advice, it would be really appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Thanks very much for your reply...it's nice to hear back
To clarify, her friend asked if my girlfriend had fallen for the guy in question and she replied that she had. I realise that there are a few possible implications of this, but when she told her friend that she had been crying over this (several months after they had a falling out...I haven't really been too pushy), it's hard to imagine a harmless explanation.
From my point of view, I wish this simply hadn't happened. I have no desire to break up, but this really doesn't feel too great. I really don't want to overreact and do anything I will regret.
A
female
reader, Gridrebel  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 "I have recently overheard my girlfriend telling one of her friends that she had fallen for one of her male friends and was now heartbroken that their relationship had fallen apart." Is this what you really heard or is it what you think she meant? What does "fallen for" imply? You're sending mixed messages. I myself would be concerned and a little put out that she is this broken up. I mean what are you? Chopped liver????? Maybe she isn't "the one" for you. Also, if the situation were reversed and she was overhearing these things from your lips to a friend about another gal pal, how would she feel? Probably not too happy I would guess. Also, considering that she is defensive when you question her about her reaction to the "breakup" she may be feeling a little quilty about being busted. There are many ways to cheat in a relationship and they aren't all physical. Maybe you should back off a little and look at things from a different point of view and get a little more perspective and then make some decisions.
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