A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years and just recently (about 6 months ago) I've started to become really insecure. I am getting more and more insecure everyday and its for little things like if he says no to something that i ask him. If I asked him to talk to me on the phone and he couldn't because his family was around and they would hear him if he talked and would suspect him then I would get really mad at him and think that he doesn't love me or does not want to talk to me and is making excuses. I know that that's not true yet at the time I think of all these things and just get mad at him for that.This happens many times a day and I don't really have a reason to think this way because I am his first girlfriend and he never looks at any other girl in that way or says shes hot or anything. I know that hes 110% devoted to me. His religion is a really big issue to me because hes very religious and we are of different religions. He says his religious rules are the most important thing in the world to him. This gives me another reason to be insecure and I always get mad at him for that because I am thinking that his religion is more important to him than me. I get really insecure about that every single day. I just get depressed thinking that his religion is more important and that he doesn't love me or care about me. I know this isn't true but every time he prays and religion is mentioned I get really depressed. I think i just hate the fact that something else is more important to him. But i know that he loves me more than anything else and cares about me the most. But how do I get over my insecurities about his religion? It's really killing me and I want to stop being like this.Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help! I can use all the advice that I get. We're currently on a break but I don't know if that's a good idea. That's just me wanting to run away from the problems but if it's not meant to be then it won't last =(
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Hi there,In my experience, feeling insecure is more often about ourselves than about the person for whom our insecurity is targetting.Sometimes, it can just be a symptom of stress...maybe at work or study or because of major changes going on in our lives. The easiest and simplest place to look is at what's going on in your life...are you studying or about to start a new job (or recently in a job)...or perhaps your boyfriend is...big changes can be a source of stress that can express itself as insecurity. What's actually going on is that you are reacting to a change in your circumstances...people will go to huge lengths to keep things as they are. The good news is that it is fairly easy to start fixing this type of problem. If you have recently (in the past year or so) started work or study or are worried about it, then you can find ways to alleviate the stress....cut down on coffee, make sure you get sleep, make sure you ar eating well. I have found that exercise is great for this kind of thing.It may also help to get involved in some new things...either on your own or together...and don't press things. The thing you have to be careful of is that insecurity can really push people away. On the other hand, there is a chance your insecurity may reflect other things, but I would try and look at the easiest things first...Anyway, this is turning into an essay...hope thigns work out
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