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male
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*ichierich79
writes: I wrote earlier today about the not so steady decline of sex in my relationship. The advice was sound in most cases, but not mine. I am very romantic and very patient, I have tried to speak with her first before seeking outside help. I have tried so many years to do special things for her, but I am afraid I with no success. I am young and I do like the intimacy we have. I just don't like the lack of sex. I believe that sex is all that seperates a great friendship and a lovers. I was tricked when I thought I was getting a lover, and I don't know what to do? The sex changed within months of our dating, and I have put in years of conversation, intamicy, romance, dinner dates, baths candles, and so on. I like the passion of sex with some one I love, my orgasm is the least of my concern. I feel lied to. I love the friendship I have made, but how can I get back the lover I met breifly at the beging of my relationship? Is it to late?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Well the question remains why ? There really does seem to be someone deep and hidden that you cant bring herself to tell you. Its hard cos you dont want to be pushing her but at the same time its frustrating. Now this is a stab in the dark, but maybe suggest trying relate, i know its all cliche etc and both parties have to want to, but you gotta see if she does want to change. I really do think there is a deep rooted problem that needs addressing and until this is unearthed then im not sure what else you can really do.
Maybe something on here will be able to offer more assitance.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_index.shtml
I wish you luck
Take care x
A
male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (1 June 2006):
richierich79 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I love all of the sound advice. I have tried so much of it already. I have not let the romance dwindle. I love that part of our life, and I treat her like gold. I just can't seem to get that sex part right. I love everything about sex and I love foreplay. I have a great apreciation for the joy a couple can experience through great verbal and physical communication. I try to be sensitive and aproach the subject outside of the bedroom. I ask her if there is something I can do to make things better and to let me know when and what she would like from me. If I ask her directly why she doesn't want to make love like she wanted to in the first month of our relationship, she hides in the bathroom and cry's. Please understand, I only approacher her once every few months or so. We are young, and I would like to enjoy being young. I am not asking for sex everyday, but once a week would be nice. What do you feel I should do? Ladies, how would you want some one to approach this?
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Sounds like you have put in as much effort as you can and still not getting enough sexual satisfaction so it is time to cut your losses and say goodbye you are not sexually compatable and that is that, you are young and for you sex is a big part of a relationship.
Your needs are not being met and before long this will cause a rift or an affair anyway so best finish it sooner rather that dragging on the misery any longer.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (1 June 2006):
 It could be a number of things on why she has lost interest in sex, 1)Depression...2)Not enough foreplay...3)She doesn't feel attracted to you anymore....4)She has a low sex drive etc.They are just a few reasons,but what is really lacking here is good old fashioned communication.You will have to sit her down and ask her out right on why she has suddenly stopped having sex with you...otherwise you are going to be guessing for ever more.It doesn't have to be too late,another thing you have got to consider is that you might have a very high sex drive and perhaps she doesn't,so its possible that you are not sexually compatable.Good luck.
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