| A
male
age
41-50,
*ev26
writes: hi my girlfriend and i were together for nearly seven years,she is 21 and i am 26.we have been engaged for nearly 3years and we brought our first house together in august 2005 and everything seemed to be going well,then the end of november she finished with me and said she needed space to be on her own and find herself she said that she loved me but wasn't in love with me.for the first 3weeks i was texting her,ringing her and talking to her family of which i get on really well with,then one day i felt really down and the thought crossed my mind that maybe there was someone else so i phoned her to talk to her about it but when i asked she cried and said that i obviously didn't know her because she would never do that at that point i was kicking myself cos deep down i knew she wouldn't,she also said that she was not looking for another boyfriend or a relationship she just wanted to be on her own.anyway another 3weeks have past with very little contact as she asked for that it has killed me not to be able to talk to her as i love her and know she is the one,but she phoned me yesterday to say that she was seeing someone else and that she wanted me to find out from her and not from someone else this person she is seeing is her best mates cousin which we have known for many years.i really want her back but know that she probably needs to do this at this time in her life but it is hurting big time.do you think i should keep waiting until she gets through this period in her life or is there really no chance of us getting back together,i love her soooo much and know that i want her to be my wife please help i going out of my mind.
View related questions:
cousin, engaged, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Move on! She has met someone else. She probably met someone a while ago but didn't want to hurt you by telling you. Please don't hang on in there hoping that maybe she will come back, it just isn't going to happen. And if it does, you two will not be the same people. Just going out there with you friends and have a good time. You will meet someone else in the future and you will be happy again. It just doesn't happen overnight.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I think it's time for you to let go and move on. Your girlfriend has moved out, and is now seeing someone else. Even though you love her, and planned to marry her, the feeling wasn't mutual. The last thing you want to do, is cling to some kind of false hope, and waste years of your life waiting for her to return. And in the meantime, you'll be missing out on some great opportunities to meet someone who would love you the way you want to be loved. Trust me, there's someone better out there for you. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): Hi, I am sorry you are hurting so much, you sound like a very nice person with a lot going for you, to be so stable and commited at your age is quite impressive.
From what you tell me, I think your relationship is over, most women if they are ready to be in a marriage with a guy they know really well would accept your proposal of marriage.....my bet is that your girl needs to move on because she wants to experience dating other men and is not sure you are the one for her as it sounds to me like you are her first and only serious relationship....you were both very young when you started and perhaps she has outgrown the relationship and needs to move on, it is OK, it hurst I know, but it is a blessing.....
For Now you have avoided a painful divorce and having kids only to divorce later, she needs to find out more about herself and who she is and what she wants, this is not a reflection on you, but has to do with her personal growth, let her go....and start the healing process, spend some time wallowing and phoning your friends, and then make some steps to get active out in your community and meet and date some other women,.don't make the mistake of carrying your baggage into a new relationship, don't punish other women for your girlfriend leaving you, relationships are hard and require friendship, trust, respect and passion....be yourself and you will attract a woman who is looking just for you....be strong and take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hi Kev,I sympathise with you! This is not an easy period in any person’s life. Dealing with loosing your partner when they leave is sometimes harder than dealing with your partner dying as you don’t know why! The grieving process is the same. I’ve been through this on a number of occasions and each one makes us a little stronger. The best solution is just to forget about her and move on. If you plead and beg you’ll only push her further away and probably loose some self respect in the process. Just face it, her interest level in you fell and she’s feeling guilty about letting you down. Accept the change, write down the positive things from the relationship, analyse the negative so you don’t repeat them in the future. You’re still young and you’ll meet someone else and bounce back. It’s hard but time will heal the pain. Go out with your friends and do the things you enjoy! Good luck and courage! Cheers Dagwood
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hi,
So sorry to read your question.
But I think you should move on, and find love with another.
Even if she was telling the truth, which I would doubt. Its more likely she didnt want to hurt you, by telling you the real reason . How do I know this?, I said exactly the same to my ex. I just didn't love him anymore, but i was to scared to tell him. It was an awfull thing to do, but I couldnt face it.
If she really wanted space, why would she go out with another guy so soon. She more than likely cried because of guilt. She dosn't sound like a bad person deep down, so she wont have wanted to hurt you.
The only thing you can do is hold your head up, go out with your mates more and get on with your life. Dont wait for anyone, and after a while you will smile again.
PLEASE believe this,
Love and best wishes XX
...............................
|
