A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started seeing someone. We've been together for about a month now, but something bothers me. She told me recently that she and her ex boyfriend booked tickets to go to a concert together. That was fine, I had no problem with that. Then she told me that out of convenience she stayed at his house, where they shared a bed. I'm thinking - NOT COOL!!She told me about something that happened that night. She was getting changed in private, then when she was half-way through, he turned the light off and started walking towards her. She yelled "Turn the light back on!" and quickly got ready for bed before he came back. Apparently she shared a bed that night, and given that it's so early in our... whatever it is (seems a bit early to call it a relationship), I don't know how much of a big deal I should be making out of it.When she told me, I didn't make a big deal. But yesterday, she's told me that she is starting an acoustic project together, as they are musicians. It then hit me that that sort of implies that they are going to be seeing eachother more often, and almost certainly writing songs together. My worry is... Well, I don't even really know what my worry is, all I know is that I am a little worried.I really want to trust her. I do trust her, but unfortunately she's hanging around with somebody I can't possibly trust. I need to do something, but I don't want to ruin our relationship by doing so. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Hang on a minute Mr nice guy. You are placing all the blame on this other man but lets face it.... staying at her ex's house? Come on!!! He was bound to see it as a come-on and why on earth wouldn't he? She is playing you mate pure and simple. You want to trust her but how on earth can you. An ex is an ex - though the boundaries are pretty fuzzy. She needs to make a choice and how dare she think its ok to stay at his house and then get all defensive when he makes a move. I reckon this other guy is as confused as you are..... and guess who loves all this attention? SHE DOES !!!
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Every relationship should have their boundaries. You need to talk to her and let her know you like her very much and trust her enough to spend time with this guy as need be, however also let her know that you don't trust him and if he comes onto her then she should put him in his place immediately!
She should have had better sense than to share a bed with him. What was wrong with the sofa??????
~Eve~
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