A
male
age
36-40,
*ave84
writes: Well, I'll just start off by saying that me and this girl have had a very long history (went to highschool together/played in a few bands together) and have known eachother for about eight years. Well the other night she came over to my house so we can play guitar together (which we often do) and me and her got to talking about how we've always had secret crushes on eachother but we never really had a chance (me seeing someone else or vice-versa) and we started making out. After a while she then told me how she's kind of seeing this older guy (37) and how she couldn't guarantee that this wouldn't necessarily be a 100% exclusive relationship (what I want from it). I know part of this is because she was with this guy about a year ago and he really burnt her and it seems like since then she's just been Dating Around.Needless to say that night we ended up hooking-up. I don't know if i should tell her that it's okay with me for her to be like this (because i'd really rather it not to be that way) or if i should just put my foot down and tell her i want a serious relationship, Because I feel like if i say that to her she might think that i can't handle her being with someone else, but i realise that we're both adults and that things don't always work out ideally in the real world (but hopefully for the better). I guess my problem is gaugeing how much I should put myself out there because i don't want to come off as too needy if that isn't what she wants but i can tell that we both obviously have really strong/deep feelings for eachother. She's coming over on Monday to play music (like we usually do) what should i say to her to let her know i'm interested in seeing where this goes? Someone Please help me. Much thanks,A very confused _Davey_
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male
reader, Dave84 +, writes (5 June 2008):
Dave84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I appricate your help very much but I think the Only reason I'm scared of putting my foot down on us being exclusive just because I'm scared if that's not what she wants it'll scare her off and I won't get a chance to see what happens with her. I want to let her know in some offhanded way that that's what I want but that I'm able to handle it if that's what i have to do to give us a shot, because i think we have always had a special connection through the years. I'm just not sure how i can convey both without it seeming weird i dunno. Maybe I should just say it like that a be honest I guess but I'm just really nervous. If anyone else out there has had any sort of experience like this please feel free to give opinions, And well yeah...thanks alot again guys! _davey
A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (5 June 2008):
 You have every right to tell her what you want in a relationship. If you want an exclusive relationship, this is fine. I would talk to her about it and tell her that either you are exclusive or you go back to being friends. Tell her you care about her a lot but don't want to be hurt.
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I've been in your boat. It's not a very nice feeling knowing that you two are not 'exclusive' I got told by a girl that she was seeing someone else, and I didn't like it one bit. Talk to him about, tell him you're not comfortable with him going out with another guy and you'd like to be 'exlusive' but don't do it in a way that scares him off
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