A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm 23 and my bf and I have been together for 5 months now. I've always thought he was 38 but some weeks ago I discovered he is actually 42. I had my suspicions so I took his ID while he was asleep. Then I wrote a note and left. When he discovered this he was all panicking and trying to call me and apologising and all that... I missed him so I agreed to see him after some e-mails (I refused to pick up the phone) so after a week we met again. He was very sweet, much sweeter than ever, and he explained he didn't dare to tell his age because in the past a girlfriend left him because of his age. Moreover he didn't want to be a fortysomething because he works with teens and twens for his job, scared they would consider him old.Now we're a couple again but I find it hard to trust him. He says he has no more secrets, but..well, it's difficult for me.He was very sweet when I came back and the days after, but now he has become less nice again. Perhaps he "acted" very sweet just to get me back?I don't know what to do. I know I can't keep on leaving, next time I leave him it must be forever, I guess.He is good to me, allright. But sometimes I think I deserve more. Sometimes I also think I have to stay with him for the time being, because I hardly have any friends or family...Unfortunately I cannot do something about this right now. But anyway, what would you do if your bf lied to you about his age? Could one accept that? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): I think he is weird for lieing to you, and for dating a woman half his age, and he has dating young girls in his past..and why does he work with teens & tweens? Does he have some loser minimum wage job? I think you're selling youself short by dating a guy so old, and you are in your prime right now, one day you may realize you wasted your best years on some old man. Also yes, he was just being nice to you to try & get you back so obviously he is a liar and a manipulator as well. Cut your losses now, don't waste time on him.
A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I agree with Susan here. I think the bigger question here is if you love him or not, despite his issue with age. Sometimes people lie about things like this (and weight ...and if you don't believe me, go to your favorite online dating site and see how many say "slim" or "fit" and their pictures would say something completely different). So, ultimately, it's if you're willing to accept his transgression against you vs. your love for him. Which ever is more important to you should guide your decision.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): Your reading way too much into this,ok the guy shouldn't of told a porkie pie about his age but it isn't exactly crime of the century is it,he probably didn't want to tell you his real age in case you thought he was too old for you.I know this because my ex lied to me about his age,i weren't happy but i didn't make a song and dance about it,you have no real good reason for this to put a dampner on your relationship,forget it!
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 If something as minor as that means so much to you, then I think you should seriously question whether you ought to be in this relationship. Either you love him for what he is, or you don't.
...............................
|
