A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl I really like and know through my summer job. We talk quite a bit and I enjoy her company. We can be really honest with each other, she tells me about things how she felt a bit overwhelmed away at school or goings on in her life, etc. I asked her a while back if she wanted to hang out sometime, she said yes. A week later I asked her if she'd want to go see a movie. She said there was nothing she wanted to see and her parents needed her at home that particular night. 10 minutes later she gets back in touch with me and tells her there was some art house movie she wanted to see. Me being an idiot, I told her I didn't want her to HAVE to shoehorn in time for me if she couldn't, so we called it off. A week later I asked her again closer to the weekend when she would be off from work, she said she was busy Friday and Saturday but not Sunday, when I was busy (she didn't know that at the time). She seemed really apologetic about it and explained to me she's a person who doesn't have a lot of free time (which seems true, it seems she rarely hangs out with anyone else from work and doesn't seem to do too much with her own friends going by Facebook). Just last night, I threw some possible days out there (weekday nights), she explained again that she was busy for all of them. But in the interim, she let me have her phone number and let me text her and she did respond. It seems like she at least wants to be friends, which I can take, but at the same time I feel like I'm just wasting my time on her. She has had plenty of chances to give me the cold shoulder or flat-out say she's not interested and even saying she's busy shows form of acknowledgment, and like I said she can be really honest with me about things. So I really have no clue what do to...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): It sounds like you both have good communication because you say you can be honest with each other, etc. You really like her however we don't know how she feels.She did agree to hang out with you, she has given you her number and she does respond, which are all positive signs.However, she doesn't seem to have much free time and when she does, it clashes with your own availability. She herself has admitted she doesn't have much free time. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it means she is loving life and taking on everything with gusto. However - there is no time for a new friend which could lead to romance, unless she juggles her commitments and priorities to include the opportunity for more, if she is really interested.So the ball is actually in her court now - you have asked, you have put dates out there, and she is never free. So perhaps try again, give more dates and when she again says how she is not free those dates, if she doesn't give alternative dates, that could be a mixed signal, or maybe her parents are strict and she isn't allowed out and she doesn't want to admit it? Or maybe she has someone else and although she can talk to you at work (summer job) at home it's another story? I doubt that is it though as you said you were both "honest" with each other - we will assume she is too. So my suggestion is, try more dates, if she is not free for any of them, and does not offer any alternatives, then you have a problem and let it go. Or, you could then suggest when SHE has FREE time to let you know. Then if she never calls you, you have your answer. It's preferable the guy chases and asks, but you have tried and tried and if she is not available, she needs to tell you when she is... if not, she is not interested.Good Luck :)G's Girl
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