A
male
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*elboy1681
writes:Hi I could do with some advice. I had an anger episode a couple of weeks ago towards my fiancé it was just verbal not physical and I'm not trying to justify my actions and I regret them everyday, I have seen my GP and we are in agreance that I show signs and symptoms of bipolar, I also see a counselor every week to talk about my self esteem and anger but I feel as if I can't make any progress until I talk to my fiancé, but I have a 6 months good behaviour bond as a result of the anger episode a couple of weeks ago and it isn't a condition that I have no contact with her but my solicitor has advised me that it is in my best interest that I don't contact her myself that he contacts her on my behalf. It's just I love her and my son and step son so much I have contacted her twice by text message and I have got no response and I just can't cope not being able to talk to her because I feel as though I'm not making any progress because I haven't heard from her I have thought about sending her a letter, a text or an email but I don't want to make things worse for myself but I feel my life can't get any worse because of the physical and mental state I'm in. I know that the solicitor is going to contact her but I feel as though I couldn't tell the solicitor exacty what I wanted to tell her because I thought it would be very impersonal how I'm feeling coming from a solicitor, I know what I want to say to her and here it is,My Dearest Donna, I'm not contacting you to harrass or to cause you any trouble, I just want to hear about callum and cameron. I'm so sorry for making you feel the way you did and for my actions but I'm getting help. I don't ever want you to have to go through and be scared or frightened of me ever again I want you to feel safe and secure around me and please know that I love you, so let's not throw away what we had together, let's sort out our problems properly and start a fresh, let's be a family once again. I love you Donna and if you can only love me in my dreams let me sleep forever. I love you. xxxx,I don't know how to go about it. I want to get the dark depressive cloud away from above my head and I feel as though sitting down with my counselor and talking to my fiancé would help, but I don't want to make matters worse.
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Could you write a letter expressing what you just said here and give it to your solicitor to pass along? Does she know that you have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder? Make sure you tell her exactly what you are doing to change (seeing a counselor, medication, etc). While contacting here will make you feel better, don't use her non-contact as an excuse to not progress in your treatment; if you want her and your kids back, you have to do the work. Actions speak louder than words, so keep doing things to address your anger and depression. Being consistent in getting help will show her you are motivated to change and repair your relationship.
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