A
male
age
30-35,
*hatsgoingon?
writes:Me and my girlfriend broke up after a 4 year relationship because she is always lying and being dishonest with me. She never cheated on me but she does weird things like talk late at night with guys for like 2-3hours and doesn't see a problem with that (and more stuff but thats another story). We took a break for about a month, 2 months ago and she began getting worse, when the purpose of the break up was to better ourselves and come back together much stronger. I thought she was going to start excelling in school, her internship, and her job and instead it went completely the opposite. She started doing things she normally doesn't do on the regular like partying, drinking, and smoking all the time. And I do not know where she is anymore (in her mind). Its like she is lost in life right now and lost control of herself. She is 21. And I do not know if it is a female thing or whatever but I would like a females perspective on what might be going through her head. It's like she is losing herself in the wrong way....and I am trying to save her. I am really cool with her older brother and she does look up to him. He is like 29 or 30. So I was thinking about talking to him about it so maybe he could help her out since she talks to him. We haven't been talking after our 2nd breakup because she needs her space but then she says she still wants to be with me again. Its like she is slowly going crazy or something. I love her and I need a suggestion on how to help her. Do you think talking to her older brother could possibly help? Or is that crossing the line? Is it out of bounds since we are broken up? Because we are still really cool with each other.
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female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I would not suggest talking to her older brother. You may just stir up trouble if you end up doing that so yes, that would be crossing the line. If you talk to anyone in her family a mother would be more likely to tend to you. Your ex may feel as if she was missing out on something while being in a relationship so she may be trying to fill and empty void by going out partying and having fun with the girls.Trust me the party life gets old after a certain amount of time. Slowly she will begin to realize what it is she had and choose whether or not to leave you behind. Do something nice for her perhaps send her roses to win her over. This can maybe help her realize what it is she had and what it is she is really missing out on. If you don't hear from her after going out of your way I would get over her and talk with other girls to get your mind off of her.If you keep waiting around you may just loose her completly. Time and space could heal someone but if you give her too much time and space you may loose her. When I broke up with my ex he smothered me and became more of a pest. you do not want to do this because you won't be giving her a reason to miss you. Hope I somewhat helped!
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