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male
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*edicineman
writes: My girlfriend of six years met up with a guy she met on the internet. She told me that he is a very good friend and that they have known each other for years. She has never told me anything about him and in my mind I think she is cheating on me. I want things to work out between us but all I have to go on is her word which hasn't been so great in the past. Please, somebody tell me something. It is gonna drive me mad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2005): Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Something is going on in your relationship that needs to be explored. Something is broken. You do not trust your gf and you can't monitor her actions day and night. She is supposed to be able to manage on her own in this department. If she has a history of lying, then she has a big character flaw, that perhaps should've been considered before you both got this far. There is nothing like a potential boyfriend in the wings to make it difficult to a couple to fully commit and give everything to a relationship. This internet friendship appears to be an effective barrier she is using against fully commiting to you or she would be doing all she could to reassure you. Even going as far as insisting you meet him personally, so you can judge for yourself. If she knows it's causing you pain and still refuses to give this up or 'prove' to you in some way, this internet friend is not a threat then she is displaying very poor character, and a profound disrespect for you.
So instead of retreating into confusion at wondering if she's having an affair, I would see if you and her can get into couple counselling. If she won't go then go yourself. Trust-building would be the focus. In addition, it would be a good idea for you both to learn about expectations of partnering in a love relationship. Communication and open honest talking is the key here. The best way to get what you want, in my opinion, is to ask for it. If this problem is not addressed soon, things will get worse. I wish you both the best of luck-take care
A
female
reader, mystic-max +, writes (3 November 2005):
liveing in the past is not allways good for the future. Try talking to your girlfreind about how you feel, maybe even suggesting that you meet with this other person. If there is nothink sinister going on, then am sure your girlfreind will have no objections, for you both meeting and beeing intoduced to each other propely. This way suspicen can be put to rest for you once an for all.
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A
female
reader, Ftuley +, writes (3 November 2005):
 Well, i can tell you this, it is possible to have an internet friend that you don't talk about with you boyfriend, i got lots of internet friends that i told nothing about to my boyfriend, only because is not much to say about internet friends.
Doesn't mean she is cheating on you but if you really believe she is than talk to her about it, not in a nasty way just ask her if there is anything going on to at least be honest with you.
If she still says is just a friend and you still think there is more to it, then maybe you should reconsider the all relationship, no point in having one if you going to be hurting every time you don't believe her. We all been there not believing someone we love at some point, and hurts, drives you mad, but you have to talk things out to get to the bottom of it or if that don `t work you have to realise how is hurting you and move on.
It is all up to you follow your heart and do your best.
I hope i helped!
Best wishes
Ftuley
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A
female
reader, babyjessieb +, writes (3 November 2005):
Ok first breathe..has she given you any reason to think shes cheatin on u? Stayin out really late? Not talkin or touchin u as much as usual? Most of all..do u trust her?
Relationships are based upon trust and friendship. If theres no trust theres no relationship. Ever heard that saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"? well its not true! I've cheatin on many boyfriends, but the man i'm with now,i couldn't possibly dream of it. honestly sounds like someone is gettin jealous! Jealousy can be cute when its something silly, but beware. That emotion can lead to very bad things.
After being with this her for 6yrs you should honestly know her by now. Would she cheat on u? Ask your heart if that doesn't work...ask her for the truth. If you then still think shes got another, find out yourself. Most messanger services have a message archive. Good luck!!
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