A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I dated a girl for about 4 months, in which we fell in love very quickly. We took each others virginity. Things began to wither away and she broke up with me. I recovered alright and was with several different girls, but did not have sex with any of them. She dated one guy for the span of a year. This guy was someone who she would hang out with while she was with me, but I trusted her with him. While she dated this guy I would tell her I missed her and that I still loved her. She would never say it back but I could tell she felt the same. Soon she began to contact me and want to see me. She was still with this guy so I tried to be respectable..They soon broke up and we quickly got back together. She told me some slight details, like they did have sex. It was upsetting but did not seem to be a big deal. later into our relationship it would eat away at me. She told me she didnt even like the guy. She wasnt attracted to him She didnt like having sex with him. and she pretty much said she felt like she wasnt even there for a year. She also told me i'm the only one who's ever given her an orgasm and that she thought of me a lot and always missed me. But the fact that she slept with someone after me and can say she was thinking like that while I was trying to get her back just bothers me. We are deeply in love so I believe all that she says..I just cant get it out of my head. Its tearing me apart and weakening the relationship. What can I do?
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broke up, fell in love, got back together, orgasm Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you asian tealeaf. You have the situation down perfect. Also thank you to levis501. Yes it was sort of a love at first sight thing. We had a history before that. She is my bestfreinds sister, so I had seen her a lot before we got together. Yet again. Thank you
A
female
reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (12 March 2008):
 dont be hurt by the fact she was with another guy sexually. actuall think of it this way. every relationship u enter brings u knowledge and furthers ur experience in life. so if u two get back together, she will be not the innocent she was before. but better able to be properly equipped to handle u better. whaqtever the reasons were for u 2 breaking up before, dont hold anything against her. be grateful shes back. and its not like she cheated on u. which is a beautiful thing. so hold her dear. and look at what u 2 have at the moment. sexual experience etc is healthy. take whatever she gives u, and give her ur heart back. dont let this be a chip on ur shoulder. if it works out in the long run, u will have won a great girl. and happiness that a lot of people only dare dream of so dont hate her for it. embrace her close and tell her how much u love her. good luck.
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A
female
reader, levis501  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 hi 4months is a short time to really know if you love some one you should be only finding out about each other at this stage of the relationship then again it may have been love at first sight if this is so then forget about the other Person she was with and start fresh believe her when she says its you she wants after all you are back together again that says a lot don't worry about it or you will go out of your mind thinking about it believe in her she could turn out to be you sole mate are you willing to throw all this away hope this help you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):
Unfortunately you can do nothing.
You just get to act like you don't care, still be hurt inside every day for the rest of your life, and suffer in silence. That is your reward for trying to do the right thing while you two were broken up.
Most females don't care about past partners anywhere near as much as males do, so they just don't have the same concern for the damage that it might do to future partners when they add notches to their bedposts.
If your GF didn't already understand & care about this issue to begin with, then you will probably never be able to make her understand & respect your pain now.
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