A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody,I have a small problem thats been on my mind for a couple days. i am at college, and last year i met a friend up here who ended up being really cool and we git it off pretty well. eventually, we stopped talking and didnt talk the whole last semester. this year, i texted her after 6 months of not talking and i was joking with her about how she should date me instead of gettind tied up with her old BF (whos an asshole). She said she had a crush on me since last year, and we made plans to hang out that saturday night. So, we chilled, talked, caught up, and then went to a party. we had a couple drinks (not sloshed, dont worry) and then she said she didnt want to drive home so she stayed at my dorm. Instead of making her sleep on the fouton, i told her to sleep in my bed with me (cause she didnt want to sleep there all by herself ;)...) and i asked her a little bit after she got in "so, you still got that crush on me?" she said yes and we started fooling around for a while. after like 2 hours of that (no sex or oral... also i did more to her then she did to me?) we stopped and started talking about stuff. i told her how i havent had sex in 3 years, i like her alot, and if i was to have sex wit anyone it would be her, wich she seemed cool with. she talked about some stuff too, then went to bed. When we woke up it was cool but she didnt kiss me, so i told her im sorry if i was too forward the night before, and she said "its cool, it wasnt awkward or anything" and then she left a little later.Now, this is the part that confuses me. She texted me later that day and said i gave her some hickies (haha like 4 oops) and we talked for a bit then she said her phone was gonna die and shed text me later, but never did. i said whatever and then texted her the next day, asking her if she wanted to chill at the end of the conversation. She said: "my friend said she wanted to hang out, but i never know until the last minute" so i told her i needed to do some homework and to let me know later. she said "ok ill let you know" but yet again, never did. this was yesterday, and i havent texted her at all today, im planning on not texting her till she texts me.so, im wondering, did i do anything wrong the night before?? why is she not texting me when she says she will later? Do you think she was just "trying to get some ass" then ditch me? or is she playing hard to get? idk what to think so any help would be awesome!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): I don't know how you came to stop talking after 6 months. Did you quit talking or did she? You did the wise thing by not contacting her during that time. I am thinking she quit the communication probably. Maybe both of you just weren't into it at the time.
When you reconnected, she may have had second thoughts about the relationship. She went out with you to check out her feelings. The night passed. By morning, she realized she was definitely not interested anymore.
I wouldn't be angry at her for doing this. After all, it could have turned out that she wanted a relationship. You too were checking out the relationship; it is just that you had positive feelings.
You have not heard from her. This is the most common way people show their disinterest or break off relationships. Yet so many of us sit back and wonder what it means when it comes to us, myself included. If this were happening to a friend, how would you advise him or her?
It's over. Do what you did before, and take her off you list. You sound like a laid back, reasonable guy. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): I can't really tell what is going on in her mind and you can't as well so stop trying. The more you try the more you will drive yourself crazy. Calm yourself and try to relax. Keep it simple for now because the two of you have only just hooked up. I think you could call her next time and try to meet up somewhere, and if she's evading and throwing some weird excuses then I guess she's just not as into you as you are with her. And I don't know if you are the type to chase a girl for months before she gives it a real shot but I know I wouldn't. Or if she agrees to meet up then well, have fun and have another great night.
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