A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a brain twister here- I have a gf for two years now- she comes from a strick Armenian Family- my dad is muslism but i am not , my mom is Christian- she says she has serious issues with that- over the past 2 years we broke up three times, the longest was 1 month (where tried to move on, but couldn't and we got back together)- I was stability, and I want to know that she is ready to be with me, but she is not convinced that I am the one. (even though she loves me so much and we have such good chemistry).- she torn between her love to me, and the fact that i am not armenian and have muslim blood in me. (even though i was baptised when i was young, since my mom is orthodox)-she doesnt like the way i dress/I handle things , keeps trying to change me .. (which means she wants to keep me )BUT, when we talk about it, all I get is I dont know , I am not sure, there is voice in me tells me there might be someone else.I should mention the following:- at the begining she said she cannot love me (because she was so closed from her divorce)-- now she is very much IN LOVE WITH ME- then she said she cant introduce me to her parents -- now I go almost every week for a barbecue or just to chillshe is very indecisive person.. and cannot make up her mind. all the answers i get from her is I dont know.. i dont know .. i dont know.. I am getting really drained by this.What can i do ?? I want to exit as a LAST LAST RESORT.. like the previous things, if i gave her time , she comes around to her senses. but this is the big one
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broke up, christian, divorce, got back together, move on, muslim Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 First of all, may I just ask you a few things please?
'Do you truly, madly, deeply ~ love her?' Would you reply, without hesitation, 'Yes I do'?
'Can you see yourself growing old with her?'
Again, without hesitation, would you say 'Yes'?
'Could you honestly live with her constant indecisiveness?'
With no hesitation? Once more, is it 'Yes'?
If you've hesitated at answering any of those questions, then there is doubt as to whether or not you can make this long term commitment with her.
If you've said 'Yes' to those questions with no hesitation, In my opinion, you really love her and want to be with her. So it's down to you to convince her that your love for her goes way, way beyond religion, different nationalities, dress sense, the way you 'handle things' etc etc.
The other thing I want to add is; You say a little voice is telling you there might be someone else, then why not approach the subject to her? Tell her for what reason you think that, but find the right words before you say anything.
These are all the things you have to weigh up before deciding to carry on a future with her.
I hope this has made sense to you and not confused you. So I wish you now, the best of luck and hope things turn out for the best.
BigSis
xXx
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 You didn't choose your parents, so I think she is grasping at things to keep you at arm's length. She sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants and winds up getting talked into things by you.
This one is difficult to advise on, as you sound very attached to her and want to be with her. And she keeps putting obstacles in the way, doesn't she?
Who is it that pulls you two back together in the 3 break ups you've had? Is it you or is it her?
I think that if it's always you, then she just isn't ready to commit to you. If it's her, then maybe there's a chance.
You might try a strategy of backing away from the relationship a bit, so that she has a chance to miss you. Create a void between you, and see if she moves toward you to fill that void. If she doesn't respond this way, then you may be working really hard on a relationship that is going nowhere, or one that will be very unstable and bumpy. I'm not saying that you need to break up with her, I'm just suggesting that you ease up and back away a little. Get and stay busy with other activities and friends. Be a bit unavailable. Her reaction to this will tell you a lot about her true feelings.
Good luck and I hope things work out for you!
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