A
male
age
30-35,
*anolis
writes:Me and my girlfriend, we are both around 20. We are together for almost 2 years. I really love her and care about her.We had our ups and downs, many times in the last year. Many reasons, not always the same, every time we had an argument or fight. But in the end we were together again.I am a college student, almost graduate, living alone in the city due to studies. She just started college, she also works, her schedule is very tight and many times it brings her down. Since she started classes, we see each other only after 9pm, and she is really tired. We don't spend quality time together anymore.Lately, she told me that she is worried, because she doesn't even have time for herself anymore, and she doesn't have time for friends or our relationship. She is really stressed.Our sexual life is not great either. Last night something bad happened, i tried to make a conversation with her, but she didn't want to. The last year we rarely actually TALK to solve our problems. She angrily refuses.And today, she told me she wants time to think.Sometimes this relationship tires me out to the point I'm thinking the break up, but when i cool down and think about the good times we had and how loved we were, i refuse to give up.I have to mention that, i was a lonely boy, not many friends, i was looking for that perfect relationship.Now i feel like, my world is ripped apart. And I'm not sure if that's because she was there for me these times, i had someone to talk to and pass my thoughts and feelings before i go to bed, i had a good friend..I really want to talk to her. I can't. It kills me inside. I guess i just have to wait, and see. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, manolis +, writes (26 October 2010):
manolis is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for replying!
As you pointed out, i have to say that i was never needy, she was the needy one. Before things got hard for her, i tried to put a balance in our relationship, by suggesting seeing each other less often and i was trying to make her understand that everyone needs some space.
The last weeks, i was also trying to comfort her by saying that i don't have problem seeing each other less (because she was afraid that she would neglect the relationship), and i will be there for her whenever she needs me.
I also suggested seeing each other less often, because in that way we will probably spend more quality time together, rather than sitting in front of the TV, tired, exchanging just a few words.
And the problems seem never ending.. Our conversations are rarely long and constructive, she gets mad over little things, more stress, which is also delivered to me sometimes..
A
male
reader, uncledarren  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 well in my opinion i think you need to take a step back. I know you feel as though if you do you will loose her but lets be honest that will happen if you don't so its time to try and turn things around.
Firstly it is of upmost importance to just tell her that you are there for her and that you will give her as much time as she needs to sort her head out.
Secondly you need to not sound needy because thats the last thing she will want at the moment.
Thirdly you need to surgest that why don't you take it slow again after all your both young and can easily have regrets if you rush things. the best way to do this is to surgest that instead of seen each other all the time when shes tired etc why dont you meet just one night a week to start and in that time you both go out and have fun. that way you give her a good relax time which will help take her mind of the stree and also any thoughts she has of you then will be of that good time.
Fourthly, by only seen her lets say once a week she will have time to herself, time to see her friends which is important for all women and also time to do any work etc. it will be a massive weight of her sholders having time to do all that especially if your understanding.
And lastly, no matter how hard things get don't be pushy with the relationship, let her feel some control so that way the relationship is comfy for her at her time in life. it may be hard on you but if you realy want to be with this girl then you need to do this that way when the bad time passes she will hopefully be at the same point as you and you can move on together.
I hope this has been usefull to you and if you need to talk about anything else just let me know.
Good luck
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