A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone Recently My girlfriend went out for a night-out and came back with a boy (who was her friend) and was in her bed watching a movie.Her flat mate (who has been her best friend since a young child) said she heard the bed moving, breathing and kissing noises. When her best friend confronted her she said they were watching a movie my girlfriend rang me up early in the morning explaining herself whilst next to the guy.I believed her she added the boy on Facebook the same night and shes getting a job in the same place and shes been going out more recently with this boy. can anyone make any sense of this please as she calls me psycho over it but i think im being normal about it
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best friend, facebook, flatmate, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 April 2017):
 Yeah it is best you found out the truth. It will be difficult for a while but it does get easier. Just remember that she did not deserve someone like you, and thankfully you found out the truth now and not in years to come.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI found out she did in fact cheat on me i found texts on her phone were over now, thankyou for all your advice
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (10 March 2017):
Don't allow her to walk all over you, when a guy she does not know is invited in to her bed, her best friend hears things and she tells you different then I would not believe her. It sounds to me like she is having more than just friendship with this guy. Don't allow this girl to treat you so badly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2017): Oh yeah, she's cheating. Sorry bud.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2017): The relationship is over.
She has no respect for the truth and no respect for you. Of course she has been cheating.
You deserve a better girlfriend than this.
Your gut reaction is correct.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (2 March 2017):
 That's pure BS. That is NOT acceptable behaviour... Like honiepie said if you did the same thing would SHE like a girl in your bed watching movies??
I cant actually believe how manipulative some people can be... She KNOWS this is not acceptable behaviour in a COMMITTED relationship. Not even a FWB... Rather than taking your feelings (which are rightly hurt) in account, she turns this round on you??
Sorry mate if anyone's the psycho, manipulative b***h its her. Any poor guy deserves better. One day she'll get her comeuppance
Even her friend heard kissing noises... You dont exactly go.put of your way to imagine that. If my "friend" was being this disrespectful and trampy id let her bf know and put her in her place. Not that I have/ would be friends with someone of that character.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 March 2017):
 I'd ask her point blank if SHE would be OK with you taking home a girl, female friend and all and "watch movies" all night in the same bed too.
Because I bet you, she wouldn't like that ONE bit. At least NOT if she cares about you.
If you want to continue to date you two need to set some CLEAR boundaries for what is OK and what is not.
Personally? I've had male friend sleep at my place after a night out many time, THEY slept on the couch NOT in my bed.
She knows you don't like this and she still doesn't give a crap. Maybe because she presumes you should JUST trust her even though her actions are NOT that of someone easy to trust.
And calling YOU a psycho for bringing it up - which is her way of saying I DON'T give a crap - YOU are the one who is in the wrong, I can do what I want.
Honestly, OP. I'd end it and let her go. Date someone with the SAME standards as yourself. She isn't it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2017): A guy she hardly knew spent a night in her bed? She can't have known him very long because you say she only just added him on facebook. Even her best friend has tried to warn you by saying she heard noises...I wouldn't care if my partner had a person of the opposite sex sleep on the sofa, the fact they brought someone home is massively disrespectful and you just don't do it when you're in a relationship with someone.
If I were you I would just say "I'm not into being with someone who thinks bringing a man home is ok, I don't care whether anything happened the fact you think it's fine has crossed a line. Best of luck, it's been nice while it lasted."
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A
female
reader, Guardian wings  +, writes (1 March 2017):
You are young and this is probably your first lesson. Don't buy things like that. No girl goes to bed with a guy after a night out to WATCH A MOVIE!
If they really had to watch a movie, they could've invited the flat mate to watch too, or some other friends back from the night out. And she just met him for heaven's sake. Why would she bring him back to her room to WATCH A MOVIE?
"No mommy I am not eating the ice cream, I took it outa the fridge to hold it and watch it melt"
"I trust you baby. All relationships are based on trust."
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 March 2017):
 I would say, from what you describe, she isn't exclusively your girlfriend anymore.
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