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She says I ruined her Christmas and any chance I had and now I'm confused and don't know what to think or do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2007)
A male United States age 36-40, *im Morrison writes:

Sorry if this is a bit long, it is a developing story that I have been posting to here about...

Well,

My girlfriend of several years told me she needed time and space. I gave her some, but tried to fight for her back. We were back for a short while, but she was ignoring all my calls, texts, (I didnt call often at all, but she didnt even call back after I wished her happy birthday). The one text she does respond to is: Why are you ignoring all my calls?

Then she tells me the news a few days before christmas, she shouldn't of agreed to have given me a second chance so soon, and she needs more time and space. She doesnt know if she wanted to break up and she was acting distant and told me bad news. But she said she still wants to be my friend.

So come Christmas, she called me up "Too busy to wish me Merry Christmas?" and I told her I wasnt I was just eating dinner, and she told me she wanted me to come over in the worst way, because her whole family was there and they wanted to see me. So I said fine, came over, and we had a great time that night. It almost felt like we were back together. She was making plans with me for new years, and I told her it was up to her.

But the gift I gave her, a DVD of our happiest moments spanning a year to the background of "Suite Judy Blue eyes" - a song that has huge meaning of breakups, and we did see a CSNY concert together. I threw a tiny piece of chocolate, and a letter explaining I cant just be friends with her. I told her she needs space from me and I will allow that possibility.

She called me up and said I ruined her Christmas. My timing in delivery of the gift was horrible. She said she threw everything away, and doesn't want to be with me. She said I WAS the one to be trying to win HER back! (She told me I did nothing wrong in the first place -- now she is telling me I had to win her back!) I did everything right when she let me back, nothing wrong, and made her so happy. She said I ruined any chance I had and screwed up royally. This DVD took me 15 hours to create. I thought I was doing something great, by making all of our memories on a DVD then giving her the space she wanted. But she says what I did hurt her more than anyone or anything in the world. The last slide said GoodBye Baby, I love You, and miss you. This she said is what hurt her most.

She also is losing a ton of weight and is looking great! This makes me sad, I think she is just getting a big head from losing weight but im not sure. The fact I threw in that tiny bit of chocolate (just because it was reindeer shape and I thought she would think it was cute) made her REEEEEAAALLY mad.

She basically says its over, that she doesnt want to talk anymore, says that Ive jumped the gun. (After getting broken up w/ two times, how did I jump the gun??) but hopes in the distant future we can be friends.

I have a feeling that if I give her a ton of space and let her be, improve myself, she will come back.

What do you guys think of this?

View related questions: christmas, I love you, needs space, text

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (29 December 2007):

Star_07 agony auntYou dont need to be pushed and shoved around. If she really loves you then she would be with you. The fact that she demanded you come over for the holidays and you of course, you did as she asked. It seems she only wants you when you arent paying much attention to her but as soon as you show how you feel she flips a switch. Also, if she took something the wrong way then she needs to have better communication skills and tell you what she thought you meant. I think you need to move on. Stop putting yourself through this in the hopes that she will get herself together.

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