A
female
age
,
*handygirl
writes:My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, we have been living together for a year. One of the issues that I have with him is that he drinks every day. When he drinks, he says mean things to me and we fight.Another thing is that that since the beginning of our relationship, he can't seem to stay away from other women. Exwife calls and emails him, exgirlfriend emails him, Sister of a dead ex-bestfriend calls and emails him. I don't like it.Since I expressed to him my dislike for these connections, now he sneaks about it. He tells me everyday that he loves me... but, Is this Love for me on his part? I want to kick him out of the apartment, but I love him.
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female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (31 December 2007):
shandygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question The women that he has contact with has not had children with him, Nor do I have any children. I was married tp a man who had children with his ex-wife, and I was very comfortable with his relationship with her. Because they kept their conversations & contact with each other short & formal.
My boyfriend on the other hand, will talk for hours on the phone with these women.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): I think if you love him then you really should kick him out the apartment because he firstly has a drink problem which you are 'tolerating' at the moment and it must be affecting his health. So if, for no other reason, you need to shock him into cleaning himself up a bit for his sake and yours. You are making it too easy. As for the emails this shows a complete lack of care, sensitivity and respect for you. You have told him you don't like it and so he now carries on in a sneaky way. May I be blunt? You love him but I'm not sure whether his words are quite so genuine. The biggest question is .... is this love from him a love you want and deserve? Is this relationship something you really need. Being honest with yourself is hard but essential - spend some time thinking. If it is not then please do what you say you would like to and kick him out. There are plenty of men without drinking habits and who don't have abusive disrespectful behaviours.
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