A
male
age
36-40,
*hocolateTeddy
writes:I'm Pretty sure you guys get a lot of penis questions but I wonder if you can answer this. I've been with a lovely girl who after 3 years we decided to get together. We've been together since early 2007. Now I can make her orgasm in a variety of ways especially with my mouth, but after i do all of that, when i get her nice and ready (after she takes a lil breather) I insert my penis and she just stops! I mean I can feel her when i'm in there but she tells me doesn't feel anything! At first I thought there must be something wrong with my size and she going on about how she had bigger and blah blah, and I'm going on about how other girls I've been with except for 1 before her had a problem with me in bed. But the other person that had a problem with me, we just tried different positions and that solved it.I tried doing that with my current love and it doesn't work. One of my exs told me that if she had a problem she was probably was too loose but I know that to be B.S. ya don't get loose from penile insertion... so anyway i started to buy penis extenders and strap-ons, i even bought pills and the big mans pump(--lol) and after all of that i figured she must want more girth but the things i see please her are the over sized Doc-Johnsons whic has a 1.75"girth and the thicky which has a girth of 2" wtf? any other dong i tried that wasn't that thick she didn't like as much...The only times she enjoyed my natural penis is when we stand up and i do her from the back which is exteremly difficult for me cause she is my height 6'1 and she has a big high ass! Is this problem something physcological for her and I'm just the next target?Is there a way I'm not thinking of or a way I can solve this?Or should we just throw away our love and stay close friends?oh by the way for those who think 1.75" and 2" around isn't that thick 2" girth is about the same distance around a coca-cola can.
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my ex, my penis, orgasm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chocolateTeddy +, writes (1 July 2010):
chocolateTeddy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow sorry for being away for soo long but I forgot the websites name XD anyway. that same young lady ended up moving in with me. we just could never find a solution to the problem. ended up doing oral sessions, we also ended up becoming Close friends but with benefits. We now live separtely and in different states but we still are closer than any other friend I have. You guys did a great job of answering my questions and I am greatful thank you :)
A
female
reader, tonja +, writes (27 October 2009):
Well Chocolate Teddy, I will try to help you and others who may have similar obstacles. As a woman very open about sexual feelings and my needs, I tend to make my husband feel a bit inadequate. If your woman can orgasm frequently from oral then she is having a clitoral orgasm. There are websites you can find (just google) to help find the g-spot. There is a muscle inside the vaginal wall if pressed she will cum. There is a similar anal muscle. Make her cum several times (mini orgasms). This builds up the "big one". Ease your finger into her a** gently. If she prefers you from behind, have her kneel on the edge of the bed, legs slightly apart so you are also comfortable (she may lay on a couple pillows to relax). Reach around with one hand (with wet fingers) and rub her clit. If she likes anal this same technique may work. Remember most women have never had a "true" orgasm. They believe if it feels good it must be an orgasm. That's not true. Size really doesn't matter *IF* you know what a true orgasm is and how to have one. I have helped many men & women have a true orgasm without ever needing the touch. Yes most of it is psychological but there are ways to make someone orgasm by simple pushing in the right place. I hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Great, I know it might sound mean but she needs a taste of her own medicine!
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A
male
reader, chocolateTeddy +, writes (6 March 2008):
chocolateTeddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again guys, i'm going to try your idea phiatigermaybe she just needs to feel how i feel thanks again everyone
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): 2" isnt the distance around a coke can... that' more like 4"...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Hunny
Ive been thinking of this and I said in my first post I felt this to be insensitive and to be honest she only wants to please herself so do you want to continually want to try and please her as I said before you have done everything you can, Is it not time now she tryed to please you a little without the hurtfull remarks YOU TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): She seems to have no interest in solving this problem. I agree with phiatiger. That is pretty heartless and insensitive. Is she what you really want for a long term partner? I don't think I would. Let her have her big toys. I've only had 5 partners in my life, but none of them ever made me feel inadequate, and I would certainly be unable to satisfy your girlfriend. If any had wished that I was bigger, they kept it a secret. As a matter of fact, my wife and another very nice woman who I dated many years ago made me feel very adequate during a time when I was insecure about my sexual performance. They made an effort to let me know that they were happy with me. There are plenty of women who will be happy with what you give them in bed and be nice enough to let you know it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Hi Hun
I hope things calm down love, And everything works out ok for you and maybe she will think about what you have said and things will change for the better TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Hi My first thought is how heartless and insensitive can someone be??? It seems to me you are making all the effort to pleasure her and she is making all the effort to pleasure.....HER! Where do you come into this?
You could take the sex away but if she has all those toys, she might not even be that bothered, You could have sex with her, stop half way through and just say "oh, you just not doing it for me" or "Your too loose" if you really wanted her to feel the way she has made you feel.
I think you need to be making a serious choice - lets not forget relationships are meant to work both ways. She cant even speak with you like an adult. I think she is pushing you to see what you will do for her. Its got to stop somewhere.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Glad to be of help. Hope you can now decide what your going to do. You have had some great aunts responses - Keep smiling x
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A
male
reader, chocolateTeddy +, writes (4 March 2008):
chocolateTeddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell guys, here's a bit of an update. I talked to her and mentioned the things we could try she likes the whole try different positions thing but I told her about the kegels and other stuff and she just blew them off by telling me "I know my body and I think you're just finding answers to feel better about yourself" I mean wtf that's the harshest thing I've ever heard from her I mean wow... seriously if she can't talk to me on a sensitive subject like this one what happens if we got into a more serious problem..... I love this girl but if she's going to act out like that after sex it makes me wonder why I did all of that in the first place. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it would have been better if faked the whole thing or did somehing to at least aid in the situation.. She dropped all the pressure on me like there could be no wrong with her... ughMaybe I'm venting I don't know but I think it's time I took away the sex in our relationship.. let's see if she notices anything or even questions why? If she doesn't or tries to aid in the situation I'll just have to suck it up and move on, I mean she could be the one but I'm young and she's definitely not trying at this time in her life..
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Hi,
she is being a bit harsh and you can do little about the fact that she has a loose vagina. Kegels would be the go, mention them to her as they will definitely make sex more enjoyable for her as well, only a fraction of men have big dicks so it's not as though she has a lot of choice anyway.
Out of the girls I have slept with over the last 20 years, only 3 have what I would call been quite loose, including my current partner - but sex with her is the most mind blowing i've ever had ( even after 10 years! ) and her multiple orgasms suggest she doesnt need anything bigger. Besides we use postions which allow tighter entry - on the side and from behind. My girl has had one guy with a big dick and she dumped him for me, so it's not the size of the tool that matters it's the person it's attached too.
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A
male
reader, chocolateTeddy +, writes (3 March 2008):
chocolateTeddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso Soldolly i think you are right too because after foreplay and "other" activities she gets extremely wet, but how do i get around that?
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A
male
reader, chocolateTeddy +, writes (3 March 2008):
chocolateTeddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow you guys are are some of the wisest people I have ever gotten advice from I wasn't expecting these responses. I think you are all right especially phiatiger. my girlfriend always tells me how shes been hurt and used.
you guys mad me feel alot better about the situation I'll try every suggestion. oh tellulah you had me dying! lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): You think you have problems, check out this post on the same subject from last week!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girl-is-very-loose-but-i-like.html
Tellulah, you made me laugh. I hope that's the 12 oz and not the 24 oz size.
Yeah, Kegel exercises would be a very good idea. Another position that might help that I don't think anyone mentioned is her face down flat on the bed, which has you entering from behind (on top). My wife is fairly tight and I am just a tiny bit longer than average and it feels really good to me, except we can't do because it hurts her if I am not really careful. I think this is the tighest feeling position and should work well in your situation. Bending her over a dresser and enteing from the rear also is one that feels tight and that is difficult for us, so that might also work for you. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Tellulah
you just made me laugh soo much!!
i agree with you tho!
what does she need a rocket in there before she feels it?
jeeez
xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Hi Hunny
If you can feel her she can feel you! So I dont understand her complaining, Plus hunny it really is not the size it is what you do with it, You have gone out of your way to try and make things better, Has not her words made you feel a little hurt to say the least I feel this extremely insensitive.. She may get so turned on that she is well wet down there but still you can feel her. Hunny I dont think you have anything to worry about personally I think she has the problem, You have done all you can and a great job at that TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 Coca Cola Can?. Who on earth could fit something that big in there. All I can say is I dont think its you that has the problem. It must be like waving a wand in the Albert Hall.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 March 2008):
 As any man who has been with a number of women will attest, some are much looser than others. Sometimes so "large" that there is little feeling for the man regardless of bigger than average size. It can almost feel as if there is nothing, no opening, especially if wet.
My only way to deal with that is with angular thrusts. Your standing from behind is one similar version. Another is basically the missionary position, but you must most your body position strongly forward over hers, so that your insertion is at strong angle, and while deeply penetrated, you can press the base of your shaft against her clitoris, or at least very close against it. This provides both partners more feeling, and possibly much more clitoral stimulation for the lady.
It may be useful to place both of your hands at about her hip joints and push firmly with each withdrawal, adding even more pressure against her clitoral mound area. Some additional activity would include a grinding, circular motion. Most women, I believe, are more satisfied by clitoral stimulation than by vaginal penetration, and doing both at the same time can be a challenge, although you can both always employ your fingers as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Firstly I would like to say you have certainly put more effort into solving the problem than my other half would if i'd have said that to him, so well done you.
I have to say I think the issue is hers and not yours. The toys you say she enjoys best (personnally are revolting) would suggest she has been used to that kind of 'stretch' before, so would it be fair to suggest that maybe she has used oversized toys alot on her own before? I mean, it would have to be ALOT for her to need these to have any kind of successful penetrative enjoyment, and ALOT of she is now 'loose'.
Could it be that she is pushing you, to see how far you will take it to be her perfect match? If this is the case, I feel you have done enough. Obviously if she has gradually increased the size of the toys she is using, reverting to anything smaller is going to result in dissatisfaction - and lets face it, there aren't many men that can contend with the oversized Doc-Johnsons!
Sorry but you might be on to a lost cause here, unless your willing to give oral forever. Does she satify you? You only talk of her not feeling you.
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A
female
reader, soldolly +, writes (3 March 2008):
 Have u not heard the saying its not the size but wot u do with it. Shes lucky that u make her orgasm in other ways,most of the feeling in a woman is on the outside of her vagina or at the entrance,maybe she is so turned on that the natural lubrication that she produces prevents her from feeling any friction that she would otherwise feel if that was not the case. Stop worrying,u seem to me to b doing a good job anyway.
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