A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, hope your well. I split from my ex 4 and a bit weeks ago and as time goes on the feelings for her are going pretty quick really. We went out last week together for a few drinks which was good although i didnt particularly like the male attention she recieved. What i cant understand about her is that we get on really well as mates which is cool but when i was round at a friends house with some people on the friday after i heard her ask if i was there when i was walkin down the stairs and at the time i was texting a girl she seemed to go in a bit of a mood. The day after we took my sister and my sisters kids (brother in law) is away to the cinema and we all had a great day but she seemed to be pretty quiet again (again i was texting this other girl). She has said that she isn't bothered about us breaking up or me with another girl but im unsure as to whether her actions etc point otherwise. When i got home on saturday i sent her a message sayin smile basically and got one back sayin she has stuff on her mind which is a bit unbelivable. What do you think?
View related questions:
my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Well at this rate you will be asking yourself this same question at the same time next year, and the next, and the next.
Both of you are just trying to one up each other in the mind fuck department. You are blaming her when you are doing the exact same thing. Maybe its fun for the both of you to drive each other crazy with your low drama, but I am sure everyone around you will be tiring of it very soon.
Basically you both need to grow up and stop getting your education in relationships from Harlequin Romance Novels. That means both of you can only move on if you have no contact....NONE!
Or maybe neither of you want to move on.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (28 July 2009):
 I think this is a little like 'the pot calling the kettle black' or in other words you are the one who said you didn't like her getting the male attention she received when you were out. She obviously noticed this one way or the other.
Then when you go to a mates house and you are there hearing her say 'is he here' - more or less, then you start texting another girl in front of her. You then do the same when you are supposed to be out with your sister and her family with your ex as well (that seems a little strange), must admit.
Then you decide to text this other girl again while your supposed to be with your family and the ex.
You are giving over some mixed signals here, you can't be upset at her receiving male attention and then thinking she is OK when you are constantly texting another female and also being quite rude that you don't bother holding off texting someone when you are supposed to be with your family. Why get your ex to come along in the first place eh?
You either need to give each other some distance or tell each other how you truly feel about each other seeing someone else, at least be honest with yourself first and foremost. She is no longer your gf so why be bothered that other guys are finding her attractive, you did beforehand or she wouldn't have been your gf.
Just settle on whether you want her in your life, but in the background or whether you truly want space to pursue someone new.
You have only just split up so playing happy families can give out mixed messages, you can't stop going to the same places if you have mutual friend's but at least be honest whether you want her in your life as a friend or something more, but don't shove it in her face and be so obvious about someone new.
If you don't like her attention from males she obviously doesn't want to see the interaction between you and another female. Was it in some way a little dig to her because she had the male attention previously and you wanted to show her that you can be in contact with someone new as well?
If she is saying she has stuff on her mind, she is still trying to cope with your break up so be mindful of that and give each other some space or at least be honest with each other eh!
BFN
Country Woman
...............................
|
