A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Am I right to be concerned?We have been engaged for 2 years, lived together for nearly 3 years, and have known each other for several years before we started our relationship.I was previously involved in a 23 year relationship that ended with a lot of bitterness. My fiancee previously had a relationship lasting 4 years with an Italian long distance truck driver, although says that only the last year of that relationship was of a sexual nature. She also used to be a long distance driver.Last night she asked if I would mind if she met up with him for a meal and a few drinks. I hit the roof! I know that they had been texting each other and turned a blind eye to that. But she said last night that they had been trying to arrange to meet before Christmas! I knew nothing until last night. I feel that I have been cheated and deceived and will find it difficult to trust her again.What should I do?
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female
reader, Reebe +, writes (10 January 2007):
 If you are not careful this could blow up in your face. She knows you wouldn't be happy about it which is why she waited until she definatly knew they were going to meet. Let her go and enjoy herself she will probably go and come back thinking I'm so lucky to have the man I have, and end up thinking about you most of the night. Trust this woman she's been honest with you she could very easy of kept all this behind your back and yu=ou would be none the wiser. Let her go meet up with him, or even if you could handle it suggest she invites him to your house and have dinner? Or ask if you could come along and meet him for a couple of drinks and then go home and leave them to dinner? I know it's hard to trust people these days but I don't think you have reason to doubt her she's been honest with you. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (10 January 2007):
 I think you should just let her meet up with him, it is a trust thing and it is not nice for you but she will meet with him anyway and if she still has feeling for him there is nothing you can do and it is better it all comes to a head sooner or later.
To say no to the meeting will not help you or her and sadly you already doubt her so why not let them meet.
I myself would hate it and I do realise the pain, suspicion, self doubt etc that you will go through when she does meet him but it is nothing to the pain you will feel if she sneaks off and you find out some other way, also she may see him again and realise what a special bloke she has waiting for her at home.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hi dear,
Yeah u have the right to be concerned. I dont think it is a good idea to encourage their meeting. I really dont understand why she would want to meet with him really. At least she told you, which is good.
What i would advise u to do here is let her how u feel and if u arent happy with her maintaining some form of relationship with her ex then u should tell her.
Hope it helps abit.
Goodluck.
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