A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Am i right to be concerned??? AGAIN !!!See yesterdays post.Thanks for advice...but now what do I do?After telling me that she wanted to meet her ex on Tuesday afternoon I simply said that my instant reaction was that I was not happy. I had to attend an evening committee meeting that evening at the local aero club...which she knew about ( we are both members)Socialising with my colleagues afterwards she came into the bar...ignored me...bought 1 drink and then left. She was not at home when I got back at about 2330 but came in about 0200 am worse for drink and slept on the sofa. I rang her several times from work yesterday with no answer. She was not at home when I returned from work.I went to the aero club for a drink and saw her car parked in a side road opposite when I came out an hour later. I drove past her car to turn round and when I had done so ( at the bottom of the road) her car had gone! On the way home I drove past a pub that we both frequent on occasions and saw her car outside so went in. She wasn't there. I rang her mobile. No answer. The bar man had said that she had left with "friends " and seemed worse for drink.I went home and thought about things. ( she can be abusive when drinking sometimes). Not wanting a confrontation, I decided to stay at a flat that I own nearby and sent a text message telling her that.At 2.00 am this morning she sent me 2 disgusting and abusive text messages. And asked that I drop her passport off to the house when she is not there!!!( Its in the car and has been since we last went away) And still not answering her phone! Now what do I do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Why are you still with her. Communication seems to be lacking, has it always been this way? What are you getting out of this relationship? I think you need to put a stop to this right now! If she wants to see her ex so badly and you say no then she will see him behind your back. I would just let her see him and whoever she wants and just get rid of her for once and for all. All i can see is a road of misery ahead.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I'm wondering, you wish to stay with someone like her because........................?
Aside that you are a bit restrictive in the sense of not wanting her or allowing her to see her ex, I think if your relationship with her in the first place was strong, whoever past lover she sees shouldn't be a problem. With that said, considering that she is rather disrespectful, and at the same time having you chase her around as though she's your pet seems a 'bit' negative don't you think?
I mean, dating is all really trial and error. If throughout the course of your relationship with someone, things cannot solidify, then simply it means that the relationship - bluntly put that is, really sucks. You should definitely consider dropping her altogether and find someone more compatible with you in this sense.
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A
female
reader, Angelgirl77 +, writes (12 January 2007):
Dear Friend,
It's hard when you love someoone. I had a similar situation with my boyfriend and told him if he really need to see his ex to do it. I wasn't happy about it but it wasn't my decision to make. He acted a bit strange before and after but now we are happy.
I know you are worried if she meets her ex it might affect your relationship. You need to explain to her the reason you are anxious is because you feel so deeply for her. You need to respect her decision to go, because it's her life and you don't control her. If you don't let her she will end up resenting you for it later. If you do let her go, she will know that you don't trust and respect her as a person.
I know the thought of them meeting is terrifying, but if your worried something will happen, one, either you don't trust her or to she may end up going and it won't be as good an outcome as if you let her go willingly.
I love my boyfriend but accept that he has to make decisions in his life for himself. I don't believe in letting someone else run your life. that's not love, it's possession and it usually makes people run in the opposite direction.
Have faith in yourself and the wonderful person you are. If she leaves you for her ex, one it's her loss cause she can't have you, two, she probably wasn't worth it anyway and it leaves room for you to find someone that does deserve you.
Have faith in your love and give her the blesing to go, however scary that may be. If she has unresolved feelings or issues it's better to know now!
I wish you all the best my friend. I'm sure it will work out for you..
Best wishes
Angelgirl77
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