A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My GF and I recently moved in together in Oct. IM 28 and she is 24. Basically the relationship has moved fast we have only been together for 7 months. We love each and each others company. I thought it would be best to wait at least until spring to move in but she said we'd be OK. Anyways since the move in its been little spat after spat. She caught me smoking a cigarette in the apt one night.(im a very ight smoker only with a drink and very rarely) She said not to do that and i said i wouldnt. Well, one night she was out with a friend and came home late. I had another cigarette in my office and she noticed the next day when she was in there getting her jacket. Basically she said she couldnt do this anymore. I apologized and said i will really work on this it bothers you too much for me not to care. In any case even before this she seems to have grown distant no I love yous no calls from work or very minimal and no text. the worst is no i love you especially getting off the phone. I asked her what is wrong and she just gets upset and says "NOTHING is!you always assume somethings wrong" And then we will fight . Since she has been distant since we moved in i found her blogging about going to grad school for to years but never mentioned anything to me and she has been texting with an older married guy at her work about our relationship. I finally confronted her about these things earlier this week and she said he is a friend and YES she talks to her friends about our realtionship. Problem is the guy is a flirt ( my friend also works at this company) Any case that night i came home late from a school meeting and I had left her a note saying I was sorry for invading your privacy but you are not giving me any emotional feed back. She said she had read it and said to me that its not working got up and packed a bag. I said well im going to call the landlord and give him my 30 day notice. she said not to and that she still thinks she loves me but if i cant trust her its not going to work. I said i do but that she was being distant from me. I have been staying at my friends house for the past 2 nights and no contact with her yet. My question is what should I do we love each other but there are somethings that need to change or ? what? any advice. icare for this girl immensely
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Well she is right you do need to trust her, you cant go through her private things, its obvious you have trust issues and the relationship is not going to work if you cant trust her completely. Ok so she has a male friend, its not her fault that he is a flirt. And if she loves you she wont even notice that he is flirting with her, also your mate could just be stiring things, this is what happens others get involved in relationships and it makes matters worse.
Get home, talk to her, and tell her you will not go through her private stuff again and that you do trust her, but tell her you feel that she has been distant and you want to no why, and what can be done for it to change. Goodluck.
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