A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:So, I've liked somebody for a long time (2-3 years) and recently, a couple of weeks ago I decided to tell them how I felt. I've been friends with her since we first met and everybody I know was certain she was into me as well. Unfortunately I was turned down. It's been a while since, but I still feel depressed about my situation, although we still remain close friends. Everybody who has tried to console me has said the same thing: 'you'll find someone else', when I personally know for certain that, because I've never had even an ounce of interest in anybody else, that I probably won't for a long time. They say that my chances with her are dead, but I want to persist in the hope that I may still have a chance with her in the future (enforced by the fact that I asked at a difficult time, being in the run-up to GSCE's). However, I am still conflicted, as I myself also doubt the possibility. Should I keep trying? Or should I give up my limited hope?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2018): Want better things for yourself, like how to respect others wishes when they're not interested or have their reasons. If you truly care for her as much as you say you do, you would let her go and move on with the rest of your life, my goodness you're only 13-15 years old, so this is a good time to man up. I don't believe that you are that age and even here there are ulterior motives. Sneaky! You're acting as if you know it all, so know that this is obsession and not Love or Care for her, because you are not respecting her wishes, you're being a creep in her, this kind of obsession is very unhealthy and will make you worst.
I'm being pestered by someone and it's gotten so bad that he could be imprisoned... Don't be a nobbin brain; Do "leave her alone". I'll bet there are girls you're not interested in who like\d you. Have they pestered you somehow and if they have, what do you do or say to them kiddo? So, leave the poor lass alone and get some self respect or you'll end up in the shister soon!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2018): One of the things about life is that one always tends to want what one can't/shouldn't have. I want world peace. This will happen soon, but right now it's not, so I have pestered God and She tells me to calm myself, there is a perfect plan - Sorted! Now take a leaf out of my book and stop pestering this girl who you've made your God (she's not) and want, want, wanting her.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 October 2018):
 No, I’m sure your parents have taught you the meaning of that word so respect it. Everyone has boundaries and lines that you DO NOT cross under any circumstances. This girl doesn’t feel the same way that you feel about her, accept and respect it.
Leave her alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 October 2018):
 No, means no, OP
Which means, if she ISN'T interested in you romantically YOU need to respect that.
You went out on a limb and told her how you felt, THAT was brave. But you ALSO need to ACCEPT and RESPECT that she doesn't feel the same way about you.
I know rejection isn't fun or pleasant. It's part of life. Whether it's rejection from a woman or over a job, a house you want to buy or whatever. IT HAPPENS to everyone.
So NO, you don't keep trying.
SHE knows how you feel and if she realized later on that she ACTUALLY liked you to the same degree she would have told you.
Be respectful. You can't FORCE someone to LIKE you romantically.
Even your friends knows what's up!
Is it that hard to understand? Not EVERY girl YOU will like that way, will like you back, and YOU will not like EVERY girl who develop a crush on you.
Just like YOU have every right to turn down a girl YOU are not interested in, GIRLS are "allowed" to turn YOU down.
ACCEPT reality and move on. If keeping in contact is too hard, then cut the contact.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (28 October 2018):
 Was this you? These answers will help and be the same ones you get here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-i-ever-find-someone-the-same-as.htmlYou’re very young. You know you will find someone else. You will not be alone for the remaining 60+ years of your life.It’s hard when someone you have a crush on doesn’t feel the same way, but it happens to everyone and we all survive it. Take it one day at a time and listen to the people who are comforting you.It’s important that you learn now that “no” means “no” and to respect it. If you don’t, you will get a bad reputation and possibly make a decision in the future that gets you in trouble.If you care about her, you won’t persist. Right now, all you’re thinking about is how you feel, not how she feels or what she wants.Keep being polite and friendly, but don’t be flirty or close friends any more, as that will only stop you from getting over your crush because you want more than friendship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 October 2018):
 You are 15 at most (according to your profile). Please believe me when I tell you that you WILL feel attracted to someone else. I suspect part of the reason you don't feel any attraction to anyone else at the moment is that you have concentrated all your attention on this one girl. Being close friends with her will be hampering you moving on. Once you finish school and go your separate ways to further education or work, you will be in a much better place, physically and emotionally, to open up to others.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 October 2018):
 She said no. You need to respect that. You persisting will only make her believe that you are creepy and disrespectful.
She isn't interested so leave her alone.
...............................
|
