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male
,
anonymous
writes: I have had a terrible problem with jealousy since I started dating. I'm 22 now, a senior in college. My first relationship ended horribly, about a year and a half ago, because I was so jealous. I am in a similar situation now. I am very much into my girlfriend, but she seems to seek out constant compliments from guys by posting pics on internet sites like myspace, talking flirtaciously with male friends, etc. I'm terrible at handling this, and if I bring up a situation to her where I felt she was seeking attention from other guys, she will forever deny it. I think she is insecure, with reason--she has been cheated on by many previous boyfriends. But I need to stop worrying constantly about where she is and what she's doing. Please help--spring break is next week and we'll be in different parts of the country!
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 I have to disagree vigerously here. I have a profile on Blogit I would never delete because I am in a relationship; I have a whole website with pictures and personal details to promote my writing. Obviously dating/adult sites are a different matter but I googled My Space and it is a diary site basically which can be used in a friendly way.
Having said that I do agree with the rest of what Star says. You do have good reason to be insecure if she is flirtatious in real life but when handleing it proceed with caution.
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (4 March 2006):
 If you are in a committed relationship, you wouldnt post pictures and have profiles on the internet, out of respect for the other person. I feel you have every reason to be jealous.
If she denies anything when you confront her, she is pushing your feelings aside, and that tells me she doesnt care how this is affecting you. If she did, she would remove the profiles. Also, if she truly cared, she would let you express yourself, and work with you in regards to the things that are bothering you.
No wonder you are worrying about where she is and what she is doing, you do not feel secure in the relationship. If you had no doubts, you wouldnt react this way, because you would totally trust her.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (4 March 2006):
Well I agree largely with the above comment except I would add a caveat that flirting doesn't equate to actually doing something which seems to be your real concern here. Certain people are 'natural' flirts, if they are outgoing.
Having said that it is possible she is looking from something in these flirtations that she is not finding in the relationship. Confroting her about her insecurities will generally make her defensive and bottle up. Try and provide her with what she is looking for in your relationship and send her on her spring break wanting more.
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A
female
reader, NIKKI. +, writes (4 March 2006):
SHE MOST LIKELY IS INSECURE. OVIOUSLY SHE CRAVES ATTENTION & YOU ARE NOT GIVING HER ENOUGH OF IT. BE A GOOD MAN, GIVE HER THE TIME OF HER LIFE B4 SPRING BREAK & ALL SHOULD BE FINE.
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