A
male
age
36-40,
*ab1986
writes:Ok, me and her have been together for the last 3 years but for some reason I have my doubts about her. Well, everything with us has always been great and we love each other to death and have had many great times, the only bad thing is it is a long-distance relationship. But we've remained faithful ever since the beginning. The only problem we had was, 2 years ago when she started working in this factory, this asshole became friends with her and was always offering to buy her lunch and stuff on their break and talked really sympathetic about her missing me and stuff. Well, I guess one day he had enough and kissed her, and she allowed it for a few seconds. When I heard of this some months later (she wanted to tell me in person) you can believe I was devastated. She says right after it happened she was weeping on the way back to work and felt like total crap. Then this asshole had the nerve to try to tell her no to go hang out at some guy they worked with (who her and her brother were friends with) because he thought this guy wanted her. So she did go to his house to hang out (and her brother came along too so I guess it was ok) and when Mr. Phony found out he started calling her a "whore" and "trash" and all kinds of names and crap. So yeah, all that has really tested my patience and trust in her since then. But nothing has happened since then, and I reluctantly forgave her because I can't help my true feelings for her. So I was just wondering, how should I feel now? She'll be 21 soon, should I start worrying about the attention she'll get at clubs and bars? Should I trust her when she is out without me around, and drinking as well? Please, I need honest opinions about this because it eats away at me on a daily basis and I just am at a loss for words anymore. She showed some dedication to me about 8 months after the aforementioned incident by getting my name tattooed on her back for my Christmas present, if it matters. Thanks so much in advance...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Long Distance relationships do not work. One of you needs to move to where the other one is. Who is it going to be? You or her? If you expect this relationship to flourish and go somewhere you need to close the physical distance between you, or let her go and live her own life...because she will want to do that at some point with or without you, and so will you. It is inevitable.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 September 2009):
 I'd say trust her. From what you wrote, it seems that she was kissed two years ago, didn't move to kiss him back, doesn't and didn't like him, and now they aren't even friendly. And she hung out with another guy, but wasn't even alone with him because her brother came along.Unless there's more to the story, it sounds like you may just be reading too much into it. She told you about the kiss when she didn't have to, so she is being open and honest with you. I'd say talk to her, just try not to come off as too jealous. A little jealousy is fine, but don't accuse her of anything unless there's some sort of proof.I agree with Lola1 though: you need to try to spend some time closer to her physically. How often do you see her in person?
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (11 September 2009):
 This kiss happened two years ago and since then, nothing? I think she deserves your trust. Try to rememeber that if she'd said nothing about the kiss, you would never have known. She chose to be honest with you.
When she is paid attention, take it as a compliment. You have a beautiful girl. Of course people look at her and want to get to know her. And yet she still chooses to be yours... :-)
What are you doing to try and bridge the physical gap so you can be together?
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