A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 17, and I'm dating this girl. She is the same age as me, and we have been dating for almost a year. The first time we had sex, we had been dating for about two and a half months. We had sex quite a bit for the following months (almost every week). Now we have slowed down, but she seems to want me even more. It seems like every day she wants to have sex with me, and I told her I don't want her to end up pregnant (yes, we use condoms, but they aren't foolproof), and I don't want her parents to end up finding out because if they do, we'll never see each other again. I have tried talking to her about it, and she got very angry and disappointed with me. She accused me of not loving her and she now thinks I don't find her sexy or attractive anymore. I love her to death, and I don't want to lose her, but she told me she thinks sex is important in a relationship. I don't want us to break up, and I also don't want her cheating on me because she isn't getting what she wants. I love her, she claims to love me, but now it seems like she only "loves me" for the sexual activites we have. Someone please help me! :(
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male
reader, muguwana  +, writes (13 June 2011):
although im over a year to late to help you i hope that by posting this , anyone else having a simelar problem will profit from my advice.I'm 19 and have had my fair share of sexual encounters , loving relationships and terrible relationships akin. First and foremost sex is a very important part of a relationship. Your girlfriend in this situation is new to sex and has a high sex drive which is completely natural but means that it is your duty to satisfy it if you want to stay with her. The number 1 reason for a girl leaving her man is his inability to please her sexually , so by refusing her sex completely she's going to be both sexually frustrated and insulted. The best thing you can do is prioritize and decide whether you are willing to loose your girlfriend and loose out on sex , or give her what she wants. I hope someone finds this useful !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): I think she feels somewhat insecure. By the media, a guy is supposed to just always want sex and take it when it's given to them. 'Think with downstairs' so they say. Obviously this is not true and you are thinking with your head. A year is still a short period of a time and like you said, you are slowing your pace down and getting comfortable with each other. When the heat starts to die down that is when you can start seeing your partner differently. After a while it's not so exciting and she might be worried that after all the excitement has died down, that you don't think of her the same way. If she thinks of how the media portray guys and sex, then she'll be thinking you just don't want to do it with her, 'because guys always want sex'. If you are worried about getting pregnant then ask her to go on the pill and use condoms. The pill is the most effective contraception. It's a TINY pill. You can hardly feel it in your mouth. Tasteless and all. If you don't want to leave ANY chances then you can use a condom as well as take the pill.Alternatively, you can do other things apart from sex. You can do the general foreplay without going in. Massage her and what not. Try taking her out places and meals and go on DATES. If things are getting a bit dull try to spice it up a bit and surprise her with fun stuff to do or small gifts. That will show her you do care about her and the relationship doesn't revolve around sex. Just keep reassuring her that you love her to pieces. You will be fine. :)
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