A
male
age
41-50,
*ortunate
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months. She got out of a long term commitment last summer that was really hard on her. We've known each other over the years and we reconnected last fall. Our relationship has moved quickly and is very healthy. We both new we were falling in love with each other and recently I told her "I love you". She responded with "I love you" back. So now we tell each other "I love you" all of the time. The problem is I'm the one who always says it first. She always tells me "I love you too" but she has not yet initiated it to me unless I say it first. Does this mean something or am I overthinking this? Is it because she still may be affected by her past relationship? Or simply does she really truly love me or is she just saying it to satisfy me?
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (23 February 2009):
i have been in this situation before. i had been with a guy for a couple of months and he told me he loved me. however i didn't love him, i cared for him, but it wasn't love. i think i told him that i loved him because i knew it would hurt him if i didn't. i felt a little pressured to say it. i said the words but did not mean it.
if you've only been with her for 3 months you shouldn't make it such a big thing. you are still getting to know eachother,whether you are moving fast or slow. you shouldn't expect her to say it at all. you can't force someone to love you straight away. sometimes the words are too easy to say without meaning it.
maybe stop telling her that you love her so much, that can get a little annoying, especially when you have only been together for a few months. if you love and care for her, she will know this anyway without you having to keep telling her.
A
female
reader, highlandlass +, writes (23 February 2009):
I think that sometimes it is too easy just to say the words without truely meaning them. What is love anyway? We each expect love to be different things and as we get older loves means different things. When you met someone is it really intense at first and you certainly feel like you are in love - - i agree with the previous person - say i love you only when you mean it - when you say it all the time then it stops having a meaning!
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A
female
reader, miss jane +, writes (23 February 2009):
i know im in the same position with my boyfriend im always the one to say i love you first in fact army medic answered my question about my boyfriend thnx for tht by the way. but maybe shes just shy and shes scared if she tells you she loves you first you'll be scared girls are strange tht way ;).
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (23 February 2009):
 You are probably over thinking this. But don't push it let things go at their own pace.
In my oppinion the phrase "I love you" is very powerful and over used. I will only use it if I really, really mean it. Maybe she feels the same, you can fall in love with some-one but not want to use that phrase due to the power and meaning of it... Also once someone has said it the other partner feels obliged to reply.
Boys as a rule "fall in love" and say "I love you" faster than girls do. Just give her time and don't get offended by it.
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