A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a girl for 6 weeks. We live 80 miles apart so I only see her once mid-week and stay at her place over the weekends. She is so physically affectionate, in every area, staring into my eyes, even loves grabbing my hand over the table when we go out for meals. Everything appears perfect.The only issue is verbally she has never said anything nice about me, even though I do to her. When we text I will sometimes flirt with her and give her 'pet names' but she doesn't do the same. She feels distant when it comes to texting. Texting feels hard work to me like its all one sided.Its like she really into me when we are together but when we are apart she isn't.I'm confused and want to talk to her about this but don't want to drive her away as though she might think I'm coming on too strong too early.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): It is possible she has a difficult time verbalizing her admiration for you. But, if a woman is that affectionate with you, it's very likely she's into you, and she finds you attractive and desirable. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
I know texting is a common form of communication these days, but there are still lots of us who can't be bothered. Perhaps she's not much into texting. Or, maybe she is just of the mindset that the man is supposed to flirt and woo the woman, and the woman is just supposed to receive. She may not actually 'get' that she is supposed to respond in kind, perhaps? Who knows what she's really thinking, I'm just tossing out a couple of ideas.
Try a different form of flirting, other than texting, and see if she responds. Try avoiding technology (email, facebook, twitter, etc.) when flirting. Maybe send her a letter or a card telling her how much you treasure your time with her.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 March 2011):
 hi
some people are not very good at putting what they feel into words, especially in texts. how is she in phone calls? she sounds like she is more physically demonstrative than verbally. if you had a choice between someone who is physically cool but full of verbal charmingness or someone like her - which would you choose??
if you want to be with her, accept her for the way she is. if she is making you unhappy with her lack of verbal niceness then maybe you should let her go and you go and look for someone who is all you want them to be. remember though: no one is perfect!
relax and enjoy getting to know each other, its early days yet
xx
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