A
male
age
36-40,
*ohnc342345
writes:hang on or let go part 2 well i forgot to mention in the first one that my girlfriend is now hanging out with guys and girls in group settings not 1 on 1 but my problem is that she is talking on the phone and hanging out with one of her ex's she was only with him for 2 months when she was very young but he did take her virginity i have seen him before and he is overweight and not the bestlooking she seems way way out of his league because she has supermodel beauty and the body with it but she did come clean without me having to ask her she came out and told me about him she did not lie about him and promises me shes just friends that she loves me and he just wants to be friends someone to talk to and chill with she promised it would never be just him and her that they would have other friends with them when they get out but im worried i dont think shes cheating on me and i dont think she would because she was so honest about it and she came to me and told me i didnt have to ask she told me this was when she was 14 that he took her virginity and she wishes it was me that took it because shes so in love with me and she says him and her were just puppy love and she was stupid for letting him take her innocence like that do i worry do i trust her that shes telling the truth or what cause im really worried about it
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reader, Jugurtha  +, writes (2 February 2008):
It certainly is possible to be friends with your exes. That said, it can also be problematical. It needs a good deal of maturity on both sides to happen properly. If one person is still hankering after the same intimacy once shared then it can be time-bomb ticking.I reckon that your girl is perfectly true to her word- as far as she is concerned, her ex is just a good friend who she is close to. She sounds like a mature individual - look at how honest she is with you. I suspect your feelings of disquiet stem from either 1) you picking up on feelings her ex still harbours for her or 2) your own insecurities and fears that maybe you don't deserve such a fine girlfriend.I think you need to trust and respect your girl in this. By all means, tell her of your worries, but don't tell her what to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Ok my boyfriend always told me "You can't be friends with exes" and he meant it both ways, he doesn't talk to any of his exes because feelings always get rekindled when you see that one person that made you feel a certain way at one point in your life, and I learned that I can't be friends with my ex-boyfriends...one of my ex-boyfriends was engaged to this girl and we started talking again, and he kept telling me how he wanted me, and how I was so great, and I had a bf at the time, and he was fixated on us leaving our significant others to be together for sometime and then come back to them later. Friendships with exes don't work, they really don't especially if they have had a sexual past, its always gonna come back. Trust me, I know from personal experience and I'm a girl, I don't talk to my exes anymore because I love my boyfriend and he's all I need to be happy.
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