A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK, to some of you this may sound like a real "Jerry Springer" moment, but in actual fact, iam going through hell in a hand basket at the moment.Ok, my question is what am i to do?Now u are thinking, do what?Well let me tell you, ive met a woman who changed my life so much that i cant go on living with out her, my only problem is that she is married to my uncle which would make her my aunt, and she bore his child, but the sad part is that i was the one who introduced them to each other, not knowing things would turn out like they are now, we remained friends up till now and recently we had a sit down and talked about how we felt for each other, that talk we had changed our life's yet again, so we came forward with our feelings and things just went on from there, ill leave what we did to ur imagination. Now most of u will think,"WTF, she is your aunt dude,thats sick!", well try and place urself in my shoes, she was, and still is the single most important person in my life, she saved my life just after we met, the event iam not gona elabirate on, and she is my only true love. She is now moving to New Zealand in a few weeks and i dont know what iam gona do if she leaves, iam going out of my mind because iam scared to loose her. Which leads me back to my question, what can i do? What can a guy in my position possibly do? I love her more than my own life, and i would gladly give it to save hers. I just dont know what to do. I wish that i could be with her till the end of our lifes but, that will probly never happen, i just wish i knew what to do! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 What you are going to do is be very sad for a while. She will leave and you will miss her. You may feel depressed or even despondant, but you will continue to take breaths, your heart will continue to beat and you will continue to live. Things will be hard for you for a while, but they will get better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): It is great that this woman changed your life if it was in some positive way, but you my man, are a bit obsessed with this woman. She is married, and she is married to your uncle, you are now suffering the consequences of engaging in an affair with her, you are supposed to feel like crap when she leaves you because that is how this was going to play out before you even started things with her.
You are not in love with her, your life does not depend on her, you can't love her more than life itself, that IS NOT LOVE, it is dependency, there is an important difference between dependency, attachment and love.
Love is the only one of the three states that involves a conscious decision to Be (a verb of action not reaction) a loving person to your partner, to put their needs above your own most of the time and to be commited to their happiness. If you really loved her you would be able to let her go to be with her husband because that is her choice, you would want what is best for her, not what you think you can't live without, because of course you can live without her!!! What are you to do? Absolutely nothing, except learn from your mistake and move on, you are very young, this is not the woman for you, she is after all your aunt, married to your uncle and is moving away, thank goodness for you both!
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