A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf is a bit on the proud and manly side. There’s one time we were being intimate and he multi-fingered me. I was surprised because it wasn’t like the usual so I made a comment of how good that is. Then we had sex. The next day, he asked me if I liked the finger more than the real thing (sounding a little bothered). I explained to him I was mainly in shock and girls like different things because they feel different. I was not lying to him. After this instance, I feel my bf’s ego to pleasure me cannot be ignored. He’s a man that believes he is solely responsible to make me happy. My friends gave me a gag present of some flavored condoms and KY gel and a vibrator condoms. I told my bf and he just shakes his head telling me my friends really shouldn’t get into our private business. If one day I brought a vibrator home, he’ll probably feel offended. I’m scare to test the boundary because these things are so personal and everyone’s point of view is different and should be respected. But I feel communication is as important. My point of view is I don’t mind the old fashion way or trying new things. It might be fun to try a toy or other exotic things once in a while. How can I test his boundaries without permanently doing harm in our relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): By openly communicating about what you want and what he wants, it is a give and take, you are in this together, so you have to decide together, don't be afraid to ask, but don't be disappointed with the answer, his ego is not that fragile.
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