A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't want this to sound horrible but here it goesI met a woman my age on a dating site and well...when we met she didn't look how I expected.What I mean by this is she looked a lot better in her pics on the dating site and on FaceBook. When we met, she had some acne, was a bit more heavier than I thought, her make up was much more softer, and she did not have that tan glow as in the pictures, she was actually somewhat pale.I really don't think she tried to 'fool' me, she does amazing photography as a hobby and I know a lot of people edit and re touch their pics to some degree. I was just shocked I guess to how different she looked. Not to sound immature or inexperienced but it's like I was just expecting something different and better for lack of a better word. I was expecting the same girl in the pictures. I of course did not mention this to her and we did have a good time but I honestly feel as if I'm not as attracted to her as I thought I would be. Were my expectations too high? Do you think I should give it some time?
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acne, facebook, immature, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): I put on Facebook my best pictures. Sometimes I have to retake and retake it to get a decent one.
There is this girl that I know who also has acne, she is very skinny with no butt, her eyes sit close to each other...but she looks awesome on pictures. On pictures you can pose, no one can see acne and non existent butt.
There is nothing you can do if you don't find her attractive. Unless you need another friend then keep n seeing her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): I know it sounds superficial I didn't mean for it to come across that way I just needed some advice as I didn't know what to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): Before you're totally attacked by a mob of angry women; let me give you a little advice.
Men are visual-creatures; and she knew enough to "re-touch" her profile pics to be sure you saw the best of her. Her intent was to meet you; and let you grow on her for who she is, not on her looks alone.
Most people don't look like their profile pics, and nor do you. We gain and lose weight as seasons change, tans fade, we change our hair, the lighting changes, and even backdrops improve your image on a photo.
If she could tell her side of things. We'd get a more balanced perception of that date.
I will say, you are quite superficial, and somewhat arrogant to say how disappointed you are. Yet say you still had a good time. What the f*ck, dude?!! Seriously?!!
We don't get the luxury of hearing her impression of you and your appearance. Do you even wonder what she thinks?
Well, until you met her; you were attracted to an image.
Not a person. That's what makes you superficial.
I hope you will be honest and let her down easy. Please do not by any means say anything to her even remotely similar to the description you've given to us. Yes, she was a bit deceptive; but she knows a large percentage of people, if not 90% of people, on dating sites embellish their profiles. Most touch-up or photo-shop their profile photos; if they don't outright steal them! The thing now is to get them professionally-made; so all your flaws are airbrushed from the photo. So, you don't know what people really look like until you meet them. Yourself included.
You may have flaws she simply over-looked; because she likes you. Apparently your attraction hinders mainly on her looks.
Just go easy on her feelings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2015):
 Some people photograph really well, where as in reality they seem more "average".
Others photograph really bad, but look great in person.
I think you are being a bit shallow. I mean... her tan? Seriously?
We have had a weird summer where I live, I would get a light tan, weather would turn to crap, tan would go away.
We had some pictures done for Christmas - they were a little more on the "gag" side (as in funny) then the posed ones, I wore make up in them. Foundation, blush, light dusting of powder, eyeliner, etc... I don't wear make up 360 out of 365 days a year. But OF COURSE I wanted to look GOOD in the pictures that friends and family sees.
I would say this, if you "fell" for her based on her pictures, then yeah, let her go. If you liked her person/personality then have a couple more dates and see.
PS. have you seen models, actors, heck even porn stars without make-up? Most of them look WAY more "average" than you'd think.
Facebook (or any social/dating website) is not a Sears catalog where you pick a date based ONLY on looks.. if you do, maybe... you need to rethink your dating process.
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