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She lied to me and cheated! Should I stay or should I go?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I’m a 34 year old blk male I’ve been with my girlfriend for about nine years I ask her to marry me about five years ago she said yes but she started cheating on me. for about a year and a half till I found out she said she would stop but she kept cheating with the guy and some women I confronted her again she said she would stop again we have not had sex in a year and a half, just a few weeks ago I caught here online telling some guy she was horny, also I want kids (2) she says maybe (1). I know I’m not perfect I did gain about a hundred pound in the nine years we were together and she lost about 30 pounds (I recently lost the weight I think it was stress lol,) and I’m not the easiest person to live with (in the beginning I was clinging she hated that now I’m distant she hated that too. I’m more hurt about her lying to me than the sex with another guy, after the last time she said she would change should I believe her? Should I just leave? I think I’m just wasting my life with her.

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A male reader, meganutts United States +, writes (15 August 2009):

meganutts agony auntYea, it sounds like u r wasting ur time there guy. Look a relationship is a 50/50 thing, ur putting in and not getting anything out, she knows what she's doing, she's not oblivious to the fact that she's cheating. Its on purpose guy and she going to continue doing it as long as u put up with it. Despite the fact of u being clingy and gaining 100 pounds, u loss 30, which shows ur trying to look decent for her, but sum ppl can't appreciate effort. I know I'm 3 days late in this reply, but I hope u have made the decision to not put up with it anymore. Go out, enjoy ur life, don't be oppressed by a woman who obviously doenst respect u.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009):

run away from this toxic woman who will not change her cheating habits. she is "soaked" in her cheatng and she will not change. move on to better and believe me there is better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009):

If you think your wasting your life with her then you should dump her ass at the curb. If she is a profligate liar as you stated you'd be a fool to marry her as she would continue her infidelities after you are married for sure.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009):

It may be hard to do...but you should leave. It's clear that she has no respect for you or your relationship. Lying is unacceptable just as much as the cheating, it's all intertwined together. You can do better, you deserve better especially if you've been faithful to her! And no, you may not be perfect in any sense (no one is for that matter) but at least you understand and honor commitment! And if she did, it wouldn't take this long for her get serious and get faithful to you. It's seems that cheats and only stops when you find out, just to start up again! What will it take? Don't waste any more of your time...please! There is another woman out there that will value, respect, honor and cherish you and what you have to offer, don't settle for this, no one deserves to be messed over and that's what she's doing to you: messing you over. Don't be used by someone who clearly isn't ready to change. Do you really want to be with someone that you have to constantly think about whether or not they're being faithful to you? Do you really want to get married and have kids with a woman who can't handle simple commitment and honesty?

Move on with your life, I know it's easier said than done, but it CAN be done. You deserve better, not less!

Wish you the best!

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